Clare Wildman Life Coach based in Bletchley, Milton Keynes

Life Coaching the Slower Option...

2012-01-23T17:16:00.000Z

I think this is what some people think of it as being and this causes a bit of a problem for us coaches.

After all we live in a society where immediate gratification is the in thing right now and that really isn't what coaching is about. I've noticed that a lot of people want to be told what to do, they want the easy option and they might get that from some coaches but they definitely won't get that from me.

You see coaching is about stopping to think and talk things through. About consolidating the knowledge and advice that we have gained over the years and working out what is right for YOU as an individual. You'll look at what has worked for you in the past, what didn't and why and in this way get to where you want to be quicker and more effectively.

Does it work if others tell you what to do? Well what have you found? How many self help books have you read and not put the learning into action? How many courses and webinars have you been on and not followed through? Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that these aren't worth doing but the key to making them really effective is to take action on what you have learnt. Your coach comes to your aid here by helping you work out which bits of learning to act on and which bits to test or ignore. You put together your own personal action plan and then your coach helps to hold you accountable to that and supports you in taking action.

So is coaching a slower route....maybe, maybe not.

Tell me what you think.

The Race Into 2012

2012-01-04T16:53:00.000Z

Is it just me or has everyone been very keen to leave 2011 behind?

It has felt as if this is the case and I've been surprised by just how many people have already taken their Christmas decorations down (or is that due to the more prosaic reason that the last weekend before twelfth night has passed?) Even the FTSE index seems to be relieved that the New Year has begun with a lovely rise of +127.63! (Well it was when I wrote the post on the 3rd!)

All joking aside I think it's a good thing that we seem to be more hopeful and optimistic about 2012 and lets face it in the UK we should be - we are hosting the Olympics after all! Now I'm just hoping that at least a little of this optimism spreads to the media. Yes the papers, tv etc have a lot to answer for in my book. When will they realise that if they keep telling us it's all going to be doom and gloom that that is exactly the situation that they are helping to create.

You see if you expect all to be miserable a little part of your brain looks for proof that that is the case. You can't help it, it just rushes off all of it's own accord. If, however, you look for signs of optimism, good cheer and hopefulness then that is exactly what that little bit of your brain will go looking for. It's covered in much greater depth and far more scientifically in the study of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) but for me, I like a simple story.

So as you race into the first month of the year just what signs are you looking for? It appears that I'm looking for people who are ready to enjoy a brighter future in 2012!

Happy 4th Anniversary!

2012-01-03T19:03:00.000Z

Yes today Clare Wildman Coaching celebrates it's 4th Anniversary. My how the time has flown!

As the company consists of little old me I'd like to share my celebrations by offering a discount of 50% to the first 4 people to book coaching or a workshop (not to be used in conjunction with any other offer as they say)

So gsend me an email if you'd like to celebrate with me. Offer ends at midnight.

Celebrating Success

2011-12-22T13:41:00.001Z

At this time of year it's very easy to get caught up in all the Christmas preparations and celebrations and then slide through into the New Year enthusiasm and planning but please make time to review the year gone by. I have noticed this year that more and more people seem ready to put 2011 behind them and look ahead to the coming year early but the danger with this is that we forget the good things that have happened in the year that is closing.

For me an essential part of my year end ritual is looking back through my diary, reminding myself of the friends I've seen, the places I've been and things I've achieved. It often feels like a negative time of the year with the short days, the cold and the commercial pressures and it is all too easy now to feel that 2011 has not been a good year. However, when I sit down and look back I realise it has actually been a great year!

I've continued to grow my business, I've worked with fantastic clients both old and new, I saw Michael Neill speak in Cheltenham and we've had a wonderful holiday in Egypt where I got to meet some more really wonderful people and I even got to climb inside the Great Pyramid! I've spent time with friends and family (even if not as much as I would have liked), I learnt loads, laughed more and have taken much better care of my health.

All in all I'm giving 2011 a 7/10 on it's report card. There have been plenty of things that haven't gone as I would have liked but these were largely outside my control and I've had it brought to my attention that the importance here is how I choose to respond in these circumstances (thank you Michael Neill, and my Mike for pulling out this particular message and reminding me of it!)

Now I'm sitting in a very sunny office with a warm glow inside and out as I think about how well 2012 is already shaping up. I know I will be learning more, laughing more and meeting loads of fantastic people. Who can ask for more?

So what successes are you celebrating from 2011?

People Pressure

2011-11-06T10:26:00.000Z

It's that time of year again and we're all looking ahead to Christmas. Having started a new joint venture with Judith Morris of Organised Chaos on making space for Christmas thoughts of what this season means to everyone are foremost in my mind.

Reactions to this festive period vary greatly from feelings of excitement and anticipation to those of dread. It is often the reactions of others that colour our view of these few days.

Be it the pressure of finding 'just the right gift', keeping the children from getting too over excited or juggling the many needs of the different generations in your family.

If you are dreading the Christmas holidays take a moment to consider why this is. Could it be that the expectations of those around you are putting pressure on you. For the host at any special gathering the pressure to deliver the 'perfect' event for all present can be immense. This reminds me of the episode of Friends where Monica, a stresshead at the best of times, was hosting Thanks Giving for the gang. In her attempts to please she ended up preparing potatoes in just about every manner possible - and even then it all went wrong!

To get yourself ready take some time to think about the different people you will be entertaining this year and identify any concerns that you may have. Once you have identified them you are well on the way to allieviating them.

If you need to get prepared and make some space so you can relax and get the best from Christmas this year join Judith and I on facebook for Making Space for Christmas as we look at tips, get you thinking and provide you with support.

Inspiration Strikes!

2011-10-25T09:07:00.000+01:00

What a great day it's been already!

First thing this morning I logged into facebook to see a link from Michael Neill to a great article on coaching (you'll probably hear more about that later!) and then as I carried out my daily check of the BBC website I came across this great idea.

"What will you do with the hour you gain when the clocks go back? Fiona Bruce wants us to spend it helping someone get online for the very first time."

Strange as up until now I'd always worked on the understanding that the extra hour I gained was for me to get more sleep! Thinking about it though what a wonderful idea to make that hour really count and to do something rather different with it.

Helping people to get online is a great suggestion but what else could you use that hour for? I'd love to hear any suggestions that you may have so please share them here. There are so many things that you could do that my brain needs time to sort them all through. Some of the easier ones are:
Donate the hour to your local charity
Spend time with family members who don't get to see you as often as they might
Help a neighbour
Start a community project (perhaps this one could be continued on a yearly basis)
Spend time with someone who is lonely

Well that's just a starter....

I'm inspired to make the most of my extra hour now and I'll let you know how it goes.

Investing In Me

2011-09-23T14:14:00.000+01:00

This week I have upped my game in this direction and have been hitting the books and the utube clips looking to improve my self-development. It's been great and I've learnt lots. Especially doing the research on video clips as I've learnt about the things I do and don't like and am compiling a list of ideas for when I finally take the plunge.

Strange then that the last couple of days I don't feel like I've ACHIEVED much. Why would this be I wonder. The only answer I can think of right now is that new learning is an ongoing process. It's not really something that is instantly quanitifiable. Certainly not compared to carrying out sessions with my clients that are of a fixed duration (well sort of....) and where I see instant results. Not compared to working my way down a list of tasks.

So is there a problem - well not really it's just that I need to work on accepting that part of the learning process is about taking time, about looking round at new things, opening my eyes to new opportunities and ways of doing things without seeing instant results.

So what's next? Well more learning of course!

Helping Others - Help Yourself

2011-09-09T14:56:00.000+01:00

This topic has come up several times for me recently and is something that I often cover with clients.

So often we get concerned about helping others, our families, friends, customers, charities etc. and spend a lot of our time and energy doing just that but neglect to look after ourselves. It often seems that everyone else comes first and somehow, despite doing good for others, it just doesn't seem to work for you. Why is that?

Looking after ourselves first and foremost often brings up feelings of guilt and selfishness but why is that? One thing we need to remember is that we need to put ourselves first to some extent to ensure that we are in a fit state to help others. That includes our physical fitness, mental health and financial fitness. In that way we can make sure we are able to truly help others. After all on an airplane we are told that in an emergency we should make sure we fit our own breathing apparatus before helping others. It's exactly the same thing.

Over the last few weeks I've been working on my own health with the help of Jill Gardner of Hate It, Change It and have realised that by being healthier and happier in myself I have a more positive effect on all those around me. There is the added bonus that by preparing healthier food Mike is also eating more healthily.

So...if you are ever thinking about putting yourself first and the 'guilts' kick in, stop for a moment and think....are you being selfish or are you enabling yourself to help others better in the future?

What Does Success Mean to You?

2011-08-22T17:07:00.000+01:00

Does that sound strange? Let me explain.

With more and more focus in the press etc. on finance, status symbols and so on it is very easy to start thinking of success purely in terms of finances and belongings. Stop for a while though and consider first what success really means.

In my dictionary it is defined as ‘a favourable outcome to an undertaking, the achievement of a desired object or end, the attainment of wealth or fame’.

I’d pretty much agree with that with the wealth and fame bit being the least important. In fact I would say that it is likely that most of us have more than one measure of success and will have measures set for the short and long term.

It is all too easy to jump in and answer whether or not we are successful by making a snap decision based on how we feel now or how we think others may judge us.

Thinking about all areas of your life would you consider yourself to be successful if I were to ask you now?

Now consider the following points:
• What is important to you?
• If each area was perfect what would that look like?
• If perfect is 10 out of 10, what score would successful be?
• How does that look? Where are you now?

Now compare this view of your level of success with that you had initially. Has it changed?

If you have thought about this before the process may be quite quick for you, if it is new then it may take a little while to work through. Most important though is that you concentrate on what you think and put aside what other people’s views may be.

Try Something You've Never Tried Before - Life's a Maze

2011-08-19T17:20:00.000+01:00

Why? Because if we do what we've always done we'll get what we've always got. So if you are looking for something different in your life then try doing something different or doing it in a different way.

I'm not quite sure why but the other day I realised that there was an analogy here with mazes. It's thanks to Pippa, my friend's daughter. While we were out at lunch there was she was working on one of the quizz/game sheets they hand out for children at the pub. One of them was a maze.

(for more mazes www.allkidsnetwork.com/mazes)

She looked at it, put her finger on one of the lines and traced it and straight away got to the middle. 'What's the chances of that happening?' I thought. Normally you would expect to trace at least two out of four before finding the right one. It was then that it struck me that in life we DO expect the first option to be the one that works.

So often I observe people try one route to what they want, find it doesn't work and give up. Why do we do that I wonder? Why don't we treat life more like a maze and simply start at another point and try another route?

It's one of the main ways that we help people in coaching, getting them to try something new and sometimes we've been know to encourage them to treat life a bit more as though it was a game. After all why shouldn't
we have some fun as we try these new things and how often does it really matter whether or not the first route is the right one, or the fifth or the sixty fifth? What really matters is that we give it a go, that it counts to us, that it's worth trying.

If it's not worth trying then why are we bothering with it in the first place?

Taking Action on a Regular Basis

2011-08-15T18:23:00.000+01:00

This is what you'll hear advised almost any time that goals are talked about. It makes sense right? Break your goal down into manageable bite size pieces and then regualarly tackle one at a time.

So if most of us know that then how come we still struggle to do it?

I'm sure that the reasons are many and varied but here are five ideas to help you put it into practice:

1. At the beginning of each week plan EXACTLY when you will take each step.
2. Join with others for support, encouragement and a sense of accountabilty.
3. Make it fun.
4. Set a regular time each week to one side for working on your goals, make this part of your routine.
5. Get some help.

Goal Watchers is a group I run every Tuesday evening and members of the group have found that it works really well in each of these areas to help them make regular progress. If you would like to join us then give me a call or send me an email for more details. Come along and try a session if you think it may be of help. A session is only £5. There is no £5 joining fee if you join us before the 15th September and you aren't tied into any long term commitment (that's something you have to decide on for yourself)

We'd love for you to join us and have fun making your goals reality!

The things we do for a good cause!

2011-07-18T17:11:00.000+01:00

Having stayed awake on Saturday and then walked 10 miles I'm now drawn to reflect on the things we'll do for a good cause! As I hobble round feeling every one of my years I'm proud to have taken part and to have been able to raise just a fraction of the expected £130,000 for Willen Hospice.

Isn't it amazing that approx 1700 women all turned out to take part and that doesn't include the volunteers who manned rest stops, sat in the cold at marshalling points to ensure our safety and cheer us on and all the others who made the event possible. That seems amazing in itself but when you consider that events like this are taking place all the time...well we human beings aren't all that bad really are we?!

Ooops! Apologies to Monkey, Florence Moo and all the other animals who take part and do their bit!

I'm sure when it comes down to it we all have many different reasons for taking part, be it in memory of someone we love, to contribute to a worthy cause, to face the challenge and beat it or for the joy of the community spirit and taking part. Whatever it is we get up there and do it and long may it be that way.

If you are interested in raising money and taking on a physical challenge and you don't want to wait for next years Midnight Moo, or for the gentlemen who can't take part in this particular challenge, take a look at the Climb Your Mountain website. If you can't find a challenge here to suit you I'll be very surprised!

Will I be taking part in next year's event....I'll decide when I can walk again!

Why Did I Stop Doing That?!

2011-07-12T09:24:00.002+01:00

Yes yesterday I had one of those 'DOH!' moments. In tidying my desk I came across one of the tools I developed in the early days of my coaching that worked really well for me. As I gazed at the spare copy of the Goal Journal I started wondering why I'd stopped using it. After all it worked really well for me.

Then I realised that it was the same with the Michael Neill audio that I was listening to (Effortless Success). I've started playing that again as I work as Mike has been listening to it in the car. Michael Neill has always inspired me and I'm loving listening to him again.

All this got me to wondering about what other things that I know work for me and I've stopped doing. I've not worked this out yet as I was too keen to share my realisations with you. So as I pull out a pad and take a few moments to ponder, what things have you stopped doing that you know work for you?

Supporting the Scouts

2011-06-27T10:38:00.005+01:00

As you'll know by now if you are a regular reader of my blog I am working with Judith Morris of Organised Chaos to help people to declutter their homes/offices and give themselves some space back. We are also looking to see who could benefit from these decluttering projects.

Obviously you can benefit yourself by selling items, you can donate to charity shops and you can help other good causes by the bucketful. One that we have found is Emily Pilcher who is looking to attend the Scout Jamboree in Sweden this summer.

"I have been selected to represent this district for the 22nd World Scout Jamboree
to be held in Sweden this summer for approximately 40,000 scouts, for which we are currently fundraising. We have £2250 per head to raise, a large percentage of which is to be used to subsidise Scouts from less developed countries to enable them to go, and for this we need your help please!

This is a ten day international Scout camp traditionally held every four years. It will be a fantastic event to experience the world wide ways of life and religion, with activities designed to encourage this as well as developing independence and team skills. We will also be taking part in a ‘home hospitality’ where we will live with a Polish family for a few days in order to experience their lifestyle and culture. I have already fundraised part of the total amount by bag packing, car booting, a sponsored silence, county raffles and running summer fete stalls, but I still have a way to go!

We are asking for any unwanted clothing (in any condition) including shoes, bag, belts, hats etc. Also, any scrap materials or linen e.g. bed linen, towels or curtains. These will be used for ‘upcycling’ into new products or for recycling.

Thank you for your support,

Emily Pilcher"

As you can see Emily has already made a huge effort to raise the funds that she needs to take part in this event but if you can help by clearing out some of the items she is looking for it would be wonderful if we could help her on her way. If you can help please contact me on 01908 368607 or email changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk and I will arrange to get your items to her.

Clutter and Stress!

2011-06-20T19:49:00.000+01:00

Ok so I had a pretty good understanding about the effect that having lots of clutter around you can have on your stress levels but yesterday I gained true understanding.

See what I mean?

You see we've been collecting "stuff" for a car boot sale in our garage and yesterday we had to move it all out so some work could be done in there. So....we moved it all into the kitchen for a good sort through, cleared out the rubbish and the items we decided to keep and then moved it all through (I'm wincing as I type this) to the dining room to await disposal.

As the items gradually moved through into the kitchen I found myself getting more and more tense. At the point that I realised I could no longer reach the kettle I was about to blow...but luckily I could get to the tap and the coffee machine in my office so we were spared a melt down!

Mike really didn't understand why I was feeling stressed as I knew that by the time we finished my kitchen would be clear again and to be honest I didn't really understand either but I felt really on edge.

It hit me then what Judith talks about on our workshops when you are decluttering the mess has to get worse before it can get better. It did but now my kitchen is back to normal and I can relax again (luckily I rarely go in the dining room so I can manage that until we do the car boot!)

If you'd like to find out more about Judith's pearls of wisdom on decluttering join us on Saturday 2nd July at The Bull in Harpole for our next workshop and learn how to set yourself free from your "stuff". You can book now here.

PS if you spotted anything you'd like in the picture you can make me an offer and save me having to take it to the car boot sale!

Downsizing

2011-05-16T10:17:00.004+01:00

Having just spent the last two weeks helping someone move from a three bed house to a one bed flat I now fully understand why Judith of Organised Chaos encourages people moving house to do their decluttering first!

The whole process of moving will be so much quicker, easier and less stressful for those people who have cleared the cupboards first. The move we have just helped with has resulted in furniture that is surplus to requirements and two full car loads of things for a car boot sale. Luckily in this case there is space and a little bit of time for the furniture and items for sale to be kept until arrangements can be made. If you have someone moving into the house behind you it will need to be empty and clean for them to do so and this will just pile on the pressure.

Leaving yourself short of time for the declutter/move also means that there is the potential to make decisions you may regret just because you are suffering from time pressures. With some items it is easy to know that you are going to keep them or they are going out but with others, particularly those with emotional ties you may need a little more time to think about it so that you feel you have made the right decision for you. Remember that you are the only person who knows whether it's right for you to keep something or not.

So if there is a possible move on the horizon why not sort through a cupboard or two now and make the whole process of your move easier.

Midnight Moo 2011

2011-05-04T17:42:00.004+01:00

Yes it's that time again, the training has commenced for this years 10 mile walk for Willen Hospice.

I have to say that they have really outdone themselves this year with the colour of the t-shirts! Even walking at Midnight I think we're going to need sunglasses but at least there's no risk of anyone getting lost.

This year I've started preparing myself later than normal (this will be my third Midnight Moo!) but I was rather pleased with my first effort. On Monday Mike and I took a walk round Pitsford Reservoir, that's 7 1/2 miles. I was pleased to be able to say that I was only flagging a little by the end and the promise of an icecream kept me from moaning! The worst of this particular walk was the wind, it was ok when it was behind you but walking into it head on required at least double the effort.

Now I need to keep this up with some more long walks interspersed with some more regular small walks and make sure there are some later in the day when I'm tired as well.

Experience tells me that the worst part of walking on the night is actually the 'staying awake' bit (well I'm getting on a bit now and am normally fast asleep at that time of night).

All joking aside it really is a great event and raises huge sums of money for a fantastic local charity. So ladies have you signed up yet? Gentlemen if you'd like to help why not sign up as a volunteer? I'm just about to sign Mike up now (with his permission I hasten to add!)

Neighbours

2011-04-26T17:22:00.002+01:00

Well the first of our Bank Holiday weekends is now over and what glorious weather we had. I hope everyone had a chance to get out and enjoy some of it!

As anyone who follows me on Twitter or Facebook may know the Bank Holiday led me to comment on one of my neighbours (not sure which one) who was mowing the lawn before 8am on Bank Holiday Monday. This is not on in my book. Just think of all those people who were looking forward to enjoying a nice lie-in and a good long sleep on their day off. We have an unwritten rule in our house about noise that may bother the neighbours - not before 9am and not after 8pm. I'd say you can tell we're not a party house but although that's true we do consider them to be an exception (assuming they aren't every night!)

This experience made our guest writer slot for Time Aside seem even more relevant. Steve Moorhouse, team leader for the Environmental Protection Team and manager of the Out of Hours Service in Milton Keynes, wrote about Smoke, Smell & Noise: How to be a Good Neighbour. If you'd like to find out what pearls of wisdom Steve had to share then please sign up for a copy of the ezine, you can unsubscribe at any time. I found it very informative and very level headed. Of course the best option is to try and get on with your neighbours and keep things on a friendly footing but it's useful to know what options you have if they aren't that way inclined.

So here's hoping for another sunny weekend and peaceful, neighbourly weekend!

Soaps - valuable lessons for life?

2011-04-21T13:41:00.003+01:00

Yes I got a funny look when I said I was going to blog about this....

So how to explain myself? Well lets start with my idea that Soaps like Eastenders, Emmerdale and Coronation Street are useful. How? Well I think many of their story lines stretch our thinking. They show us life from a different perspective and give us time to think through our responses before come across that situation in real life.

One story line that has had me thinking recently has been one of the quieter background stories on Eastenders. While all the action is going on Dot is coming to terms with the ways in which her family are treating her differently now she is getting older and becoming more fragile.

It all started with her not being told that Whitney was missing and being unable to offer help and support to the rest of the family (along with the upset of not knowing). Then after she'd hurt her arm Carol started making dinners for her and Jim, tidying, cleaning and generally taking over. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, she had to tell Carol that though she appreciated her care and efforts she actually wanted to do all that she could for herself and she was certainly capable of making her own decisions about what she wanted to eat!

I suspect that we may often be guilty of taking our kindness too far, of doing too much for others rather than helping them to do what they can for themselves. Be they the elderly, children, the injured or possibly others. If we care there is often the temptation to 'rescue' and do it all.

This was covered in my training as a coach and is one of the key reasons why I like to work as a coach and didn't consider counselling as a profession. With coaching we help people to be the best that they can be. Yes we help them but we also encourage them to do as much as the can for themselves and then, when it is not realistic for them to do more, to call on help from others. Still during this process we never take control away from clients, never make the decisions for them but instead question, reflect and help them to choose for themselves.

So can the Soaps be a valuable learning tool for life? Well you know what I think, what about you?

Nice Things To Do List

2011-04-11T10:28:00.002+01:00

We often talk about 'To Do Lists' and they are normally the type of thing that you need to list to make sure they get done. The chores, work, maintenance, cleaning, stuff like that.

Then again you get lists like 'The top 1001 places to go before you die'. I don't like the last bit very much but I do like reminding myself that there are places I'd like to see, to vist etc. When I sit down to make out my lists they tend to be places in the UK which is good as it makes it much easier to go to them!

This weekend, after years of driving past the signs on my way to other places, I have finally been to Hever Castle. It has always struck me as a place I'd like to visit and Mike took me there yesterday. What a day for it!

What a surprise as well for Hever Castle wasn't quite the 'castle' that I'd imagined it to be. Instead it was half castle, half manor house. With beautiful gardens and plenty to see it was just my kind of historic site to visit with lots of space for visitors to spread out there were places you could almost feel alone despite the queues at the gate and busy car parks which told the tale of lots of visitors.

With that successful visit completed and another tick on my list it's time to have another think about places I'd like to go and things I'd like to see. After all it's just a case of making it happen!

Inspiring People - Angela Samm

2011-03-28T13:37:00.006+01:00

I've always said that one of the best things for me about being self-employed has been the wonderful people I've met. It has been wonderful to be able to meet so many people with such wide ranging interests and ideas.

A great example of inspiration on legs is my good friend Angela Samm. Angie is a Reiki Master, crystal healer and life coach who lives and works in Shefford, Bedforshire. Recently she has started a project to save, restore and use a beautiful building in the town.

At the start of this tale she was looking to lease the building to run her business from but was told that the owner was now only considering a sale and the price, especially with the work that needs doing, is not in her reach at present. This is where many would give up but not Angie! She feels so passionately about saving this building that she has come up with a plan to save the building and turn it into a benefit for the rest of the community.

Rather than leave this building to rot away as so many unfortunately do she is hoping to encourage a group of locals to invest in shares that will enable the building to be bought and saved for the community as a whole and then be used to their benefit.

At a meeting yesterday she outlined her plans so far to some locals, having carried out a huge mailing to the residents of Shefford and the surrounding villages.

I've been greatly inspired by her energy, innovation and caring. This started out as a dream for her business and now has become an opportunity for many in which she is hoping that her neighbours will come together and rescue an historic and interesting building and care for it into the future, using it to fulfill the locals needs.

Angie explains the whole project so much better than me on her website but I wanted to share this interesting project with you for several reasons.

How many of us just sit back and wait for someone else to take action?
How many when faced with a barrier to our goal just stop?
How few of us really put ourselves out for our local community?

I hope that you have also been inspired by this project. If you can support it in any way then please do. Alternatively is there a similar project that you could get involved with near where you are?

Be inspired! Thanks Angie.

Local Radio

2011-03-17T10:23:00.004Z

Yesterday Judith and I were interviewed by John Griff on BBC Radio Northampton about our joint venture and the resulting workshop.

I found it a real challenge to say yes to going on as it definitely took me out of my comfortzone. John and his producer Julia were so kind a welcoming and really set us at ease so well that it seemed a relatively easy process.

If you missed us and would like to have a listen you can play it again on BBC iPlayer for a week. Our bit is at 1:15:10 on the counter or on Soundcloud

That Dream Has Passed, I'm Too Old Now

2011-03-09T11:56:00.005Z

This is a phrase that was repeated to me last weekend and one that filled me with great sadness. My instant response was "Why?"

Perhaps I'd best tell the full story. On Saturday I went to a Triumph Motorbike garage with Mike (well actually I stayed in the car reading my book). After looking round the bikes and obviously chatting to a few people Mike came back and told me that the bike he'd gone to look at had already been sold but his dream bike the Triumph Rocket was there in a rare colour and at a really good price.

He then went on to tell me that he'd been talking to one of the other guys there who'd also been admiring it and that he'd said that he'd love it but 'I'm too old now, that dream has passed'.

I've not met the gentleman in question but I was indignant - "why has it passed?" I asked. Mike said that the gentleman had said he was 'too old' for it now and that he felt that the supposition was that the bike would be too heavy for him now. I can understand that but was delighted that Mike suggest that he book himself a test drive at any rate!

We drove on in silence for a while before Mike raised a point we'd discussed many times. "I don't want to get to the point where I end up saying that the dream has passed, not if there's something I could have done about it." Wise words from my wise man!

So if you don't want to end up saying that the dream has passed what do you need to do today?

Today's Tip

2011-03-01T15:39:00.003Z

I've been experimenting with different ways of managing time again. Today's method has been one of my favourite of all. I was introduced to it by Michael Neill and it's taken some practice to be able to put it into action.

This works particularly well if you have one of those jobs that you really don't want to do (a frog as Brian Tracy would call it). How it works is to have one list of all the jobs that you need to do and on another piece of paper write:

"Today all I have to do is....." and add the job you need to work on first. Then work on it as if that really is all that you have to do. Put all the other tasks behind you and don't think about them at all until that one job is complete. When it is then cross it off and go back to the longer list and pick off the one job that needs doing next and start again.

You'll notice that this is very different to the 'multi-tasking' approach and can be very difficult to put in place as it is so different. I've been using this method more recently and have found it really useful with the bigger tasks that I need to complete. When multi-tasking it is hard to concentrate fully and do a really good and detailed job. This method gives your head the space to concentrate on the details and think everything all the way through.

So why not give it a try next time you have that really tough job to complete or are struggling to concentrate. Oh and do let me know how you get on won't you!

Is Spring here?

2011-02-24T15:20:00.003Z

With the sun shining, snowdrops and crocus flowering, the daffies pushing their way through....it must be Spring (well nearly).

With this time of year so comes the 'Spring Clean'! Well I know I need to as the sun is showing up the state of my windows! Before getting the duster, the hoover and the cloths out though first comes clearing the 'stuff'. I'm luckier than some as I've been working with Judith Morris of Organised Chaos. As a Clutter Consultant Judith knows all about Spring Cleans and I've picked up lots of really useful hints and tips.

Judith and I have been working to share our knowledge and thoughts through a morning workshop and yesterday we put the finishing touches to it and are ready to go. So if you don't know where to start when it comes to clearing out your 'stuff' and creating yourself some space join us both on Wednesday 23rd March for 'Too much stuff? Not Enough Space? Click here for more details. You'll see that the morning involves coffee and cake as well and we hope a few laughs along the way.

Holidays

2011-02-21T17:57:00.003Z

I've just returned from a week off and a few days in the lovely Yorkshire Dales. Thanks to everyone at Beck Hall in Malham for making it such a relaxing time.

Having officially been back 'at work' for a day now I've been pondering the benefits of taking a break. For me I have realised that by taking myself to a new location and getting away from my desk new ideas come more easily and I find myself reaching for pen and paper (or notepad on my phone) so that I can capture the ideas as they flow. So I didn't have a 100% break from work but I have still returned feeling refreshed and eager to get going again.

As with all things then it's best to go with the flow and not set any rigid rules. 'I'm on holiday and therefore must not do anything work related' would certainly not have proved effective for me and had I not been able to keep a passing check on my emails I may have fretted that I was missing something really important. Instead a quick flick through every now and then and I could sit back in my chair by the fire sipping my beer and reading my book in peace.

So I guess I'm saying don't let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn't do on holiday. If it's right for you to check a couple of emails, and it doesn't upset your holiday companions, then go ahead and do it. Just make sure that it doesn't end up being another full days work and that you get to see your new surroundings!

Time Management - a different starting point

2011-01-27T08:15:00.000Z

My last post was about time management courses and why they don't work....or do they.

I suggested that maybe there's a different place to start and today I'd like to talk about that. I'd like to ponder our relationships with time.

So lets start with how you feel about time? Is it something you battle with constantly, something you are always aware of or always running out of? Perhaps it's something you enjoy filling, spending or using?

I've noticed that the words we use to describe time are very emotive, it's become a 'thing' that is very important to us and something of a rare commodity. Then there's the whole thing about why time speeds up as we get older.....I'll get round to reading the book when I have a moment (honest!)

Over recent months as my 'time' detector has been activated I've been noticing that the less time I think I have then the less it seems I have, the more I set out to relax about it and enjoy it the more I can. Is that just me? I don't think so but do please let me know what you think.

So if we want to feel that we have more time is the first place to start actually believing that we have enough time and THEN planning what we have to do with that in mind... Just a thought and one I'm working with.

Why Time Management Courses Don't Work....or do they?

2011-01-20T17:28:00.005Z

I've several theories about this (my personal views of course). One is that quite often you learn different methods for managing time and when you come away are faced with the problem of which one to use. Alternatively, you may only be shown one method and it may not suit you or the type of tasks you need to manage.

In an ideal world you'd be shown a range of methods and be able to experiment with them to find out which is best for you. Of course that will take some time...oh yes it's time you've not got isn't it! So that one rarely happens then.

Another reason could be that you have been show a system that is too complex for you to put in place and learning it becomes a chore in itself. For anyone already struggling to fit everything in that could just be a task too many.

Perhaps another reason is that time management courses are usually taught by people who find time management easy. Not only will you struggle to relate to them but they will have a hard time understanding your problems and being able to explain to you in a way that you can comprehend.

Then again....maybe they do work, to a point. Maybe you need to stick with the new routines for a bit longer, maybe you expect it to work immediately. Perhaps you just don't realise that you have actually made a change and are managing your time better....

You may need to mix and match the tools you've been shown, you may need to tweak them a bit to suit you better (you can you know!)and maybe, just maybe, you need to start at a different point...

(more later folks)

Flittering or Flaffing, is there a difference?

2011-01-19T14:34:00.003Z

I've been observing myself today and my use of time....it's been interesting. Strangely so. For I've not been very task focussed which I would consider to be strange for me and yet it hasn't been stressing me out which is unusual.

I've noted before that I sometimes work best when 'flittering' from one task to the next. Somehow I can start a job, move on to another, start yet another and so on but overall I do get all the jobs done, just in bits and pieces. For the jobs that I'm (how can I put this) not so keen on, this is a great thing to do as I don't get bogged down and bored and it feels much less of a chore. So flittering can be very beneficial and today I have flittered from one task to the next and got some of those nasty little jobs done in a fairly painless fashion.

So what then is 'flaffing'....well in my book this is when you spend ages reading bits and bobs on the internet that you aren't really interested in, doing tasks that don't really need doing and generally not achieving anything meaningful at all. Is the difference clear? I do hope so.

You see I suspect that we may sometime be guilty of mis-labelling flittering as flaffing or we may consider flittering to be bad. Why? Because we are taught all sorts of things about 'the best way' to get things done and 'being efficient' but really it can be a matter of choice or a matter of appropriateness.

I know that today I have not been in the mood to concentrate on one thing solidly for more thank half an hour. Luckily I'm self employed and have freedom over the use of my time so I've been able to work with that. Maybe you have more freedom over the use of your time than you realise. So if you have a day when you don't want to work solidly on one task until it's complete I'd suggest that you ask yourself the following:

1. Are any of today's tasks urgent in terms of their completion time?
2. Is anyone else effected by the time that I complete these tasks?
3. Could I do things differently?

If you say yes to number 3 I'd love to know how you get on.
Did it work for you?
How did it feel?
Did it cause any problems?
Would you do it again?
Have you been flittering or flaffing?

More on Vision Boards

2011-01-12T17:27:00.003Z

I just had to update you on my latest news on Vision Boards. I've created my own boards in the past and intended to create more than you can imagine so I jumped a the chance to go on a vision board workshop run by my good friend Angela Samm.

Angela runs a fantastic workshop where a lot of effort is put into getting you in the right frame of mind before you even start playing with pretty pictures, scissors and glue! It certainly leads to great results. After just a few hours I now have a (nearly) completed vision board, I feel really enthusiastic about it, am totally relaxed (a great side effect) and I've had a surprise or two.

I was determined to get the best from the day so I didn't pre-empt the session at all by thinking in advance of what I might want on my board. That has led to it not being quite complete as there are some photos that I didn't have with me that I want to add. It did mean though that I relaxed into the day, followed the meditation and created a picture of feelings based intentions, nothing like the practical goal oriented board that would have been the result of my solo efforts.

I'm still pondering over the possible implications of some of the 'missing' items but I'm not going to think about it too much. After all money isn't that important really compared to having my loved ones around me and feeling at peace and inspired.

If you are considering creating your own vision I would strongly recommend talking to Angie about attending one of her sessions, you may surprise yourself aswell.

Time Tips - Twitter

2011-01-10T16:22:00.003Z

Well I said I'd do some sharing on time tips and I thought that today I'd tackle the wonderful world of Twitter.

With so many people now on Twitter there is a wealth of useful and interesting information at your fingertips but it is all too easy to lose an hour, two, maybe even three or four before you know where you are.

There are lots of tips to help you to manage your time on Twitter, here are three of mine:

1. Use a third party application like Tweet deck that allows you to track your Twitter contacts at the same time as other social networking friends

2. Use the lists function to group the people you follow. That way you can keep an eye on particular favourites or just look at one topic at a time. For example I have a list for people in the F1 world and another for local people (very useful for snow and traffic reports!)

3. If you have access to Twitter on your phone use the 'favourites' function to mark any links to blog posts, articles and websites and then follow these up at your computer later when you need a little break from the task in hand. I like to read through these in my lunch break or at the end of the day. Reading them on a bigger screen is also easier on the eyes.

I know there are hundreds more tips. If you have any that you find particularly useful please share them here.

I'd love to but....

2011-01-07T17:12:00.005Z

How often do you hear something along the lines of "I'd love to......but I just don't have the time"?

It's something I hear more and more of and catch myself thinking it. I count myself lucky in that one of the biggest pressures on my time is ME. I simply want to do/know so much that I would need at least two lifetimes to do it all. As a result I need to work out the things that I want to do the most and apply other time management techniques to decide what to do and when. Sometimes this leads to life feeling too planned, too controlled and lacking a sense of spontanaity.

Striking a balance can be a difficult thing to achieve and not one I always get right so I'm always on the look out for new ways of doing things, new techniques to try and see if they suit me (I hate being prescribed to and told what to do).

As I come across new ideas I'll share them here with you and let you know how I get on using them.

For example, today I've been able to use a method that I know helps me concentrate - getting away from my desk, computer and emails. This was a spur of the moment decision following the very kind delivery of money off vouchers from Starbucks. So I'm sitting sipping my Americano as I write this blog post (on paper with pen!) and enjoying being somewhere different while I still get some work done.

Ok so I'll have to type it up later but writing it has been relatively easy and I've enjoyed getting out and being in a different environment with people and noise around me.

This is one time management tip that will stay on my list to be used again.

Word for the Year

2011-01-05T15:48:00.003Z

This year several friends (Bekka and Jacinta) have mentioned the concept of having a word for the year. This was a new concept to me and is one spoken about by Christine Kane and Ali Edwards.

It's a lovely simple idea really. Rather than setting huge, complex intentions, resolutions or goals you simply choose a word that will sum up the year ahead for you and see where that takes you.

I was interested in the concept but not particularly taken by it until last night. In the middle of Goal Watchers while lots of writing was taking place following lots of thought about what 2011 could bring, the word GROWTH suddenly popped into my head. Now there is one little caveat in that I don't want to physically grow any more this year (quite the opposite in fact!) but it is really the right word for me.

I want to grow as a person, develop my own identity, learn more, grow my business and my finances, grow my skills and abilities, learn new hobbies and grow my circle of friends. I'll be spending 2011 seeing what other growth occurs.

Is this a concept you think could work for you? Maybe it will just hi-jack you as it did me....

Sharing the Vision

2010-12-31T15:11:00.000Z

Today I'm talking about Vision boards. You may have come across these before, they are great and can be very powerful. The basic premise is that you think about how you would like your future to be and create a picture to represent it that you place in a prominent position so you see it every day. In this way you remind yourself what you want and help your subconscious get to work looking for opportunities for you.

Generally when talking about vision boards they are a very personal thing. You work on your own to create one and it is your own personal vision. I decided that I want to do this differently though. I want a joint vision board, something that Mike and I have created together and that shows both our dreams combined. After all I want to be able to help him to create the future he wants, I'm sure he wants to help me too, and we definitely want our future to be together and very much shared.

Saying that our vision board will include things that only interest one or the other of us. For example the first picture that Mike added to the board was of a Triumph motorbike (most definitely his dream and not mine!) Despite the fact that I don't want a motorbike myself and have absolutely no intention of going on this one it's good that I know that Mike wants one, that he will be looking to buy one, spend time going out on it etc. After all if I'm going to be a motorbike widdow then I need to be planning what I'll be getting up to while he's out!

It's early days yet and our board is only filling slowly but it's fun to know that we are working on this together as a couple. Time will tell what other pictures go up but at least we'll both know what the other is planning!

A Helping Hand

2010-12-22T13:28:00.004Z

Thanks to Twitter for the inspiration for this post.

During this cold spell with the problems with the snow lots of people have been talking about checking on elderly neighbours and checking that they are ok. It's great to see that everyone is reaching out to those in need. With messages like "@colstewart called in again to ferry docs and nurses to/from hospital #4x4" and "PLEASE RETWEET - URGENT West Mids Ambulance Service need 4x4 drivers to get nurses & drugs to patients. Call 01926 310 310".

There's been lots of talk about a lack of community spirit these days but when the chips are down it's good to see that there are still people reaching out to help others. It's good to see messages like this one from Jake Humphrey "Samaritan of the day? The man who missed his bus because he was helping push my car up an icy hill by Twickenham Bridge. Stranger-thank you!" We can see that community spirit does still exist but perhaps it's not always so evident.

The final word though has to go to Chris Evans "Look everyone-just help everyone else who needs helping, not just now but even when it's really nice and warm and sunny". Great point Chris!

Am I getting old?

2010-12-13T11:06:00.000Z

I think I must be. Several times recently I've caught myself thinking back to how things used to be when I was little and craving those simpler times.

The first time was when I was working a Christmas list exercise with the Goal Watchers group. I realised that when I was a child my lists tended to include things like books, earrings and records. They were all relatively small, easy to buy and gave me a lot of pleasure. Now there seems to be a range of options that need specifying, it's getting as complicated as ordering coffee now!

The other point of reflection was on waking to a white world without snow. I was gazing out the window at the pretty world that the frost had created when I had the sudden thought that 'winter used to be like this'. It did, didn't it? I remember walking through the village in it to my Saturday job at the newsagents and wondering at the spiders webs and how magical everything looked.

I'm glad that I've been reminded and that I've had some time to stop and remember. I've a smile on my face now as I recall those days and a slight hankering for the simpler life back then. Was it really simpler or was that just what being young is about?

Time Passing Too Fast?

2010-12-09T11:19:00.005Z

Well I had a bit of an insight about this recently following Jake Humphrey's Tweet about BBC Sports Personality of the Year. So I thought I'd share it with you to see if I'm on track. I think we help time to pass quickly by spending a lot of time looking ahead. At no time is this more noticeable than in the run up to Christmas and the New Year.

Since I've been working for myself my perception of time passing has changed considerably. The first half of the year seems to pass at a fairly sensible rate. Then there's the school holidays when everything seems to stop for nearly two months (after all there's no point starting something just before is there?). After that the year fairly gallops by with the run up to Christmas and the New Year.

With the Christmas cards, sweets etc. out in the shops earlier and earlier each year, or so it seems, our minds quickly turn towards December. So we're thinking about it how early?! Then, and this is what brought on my little epiphany, we start talking about the 'best of the year' around about November. That's when talk about the BBC Sports Personality of the Year starts and it's soon followed by Best Record, Best Film and so on. Why I wonder when there is still at least a month to go?

So it was with a smile that I've just read this post on Lewis Hamilton's Twitter:
"Make the most of the last part of 2010, it can still be a good year!" What a fantastic point you make Lewis, the year is not over yet, don't wish it away, enjoy it!

Of course you are thinking about what New Year Resolutions you are going to make aren't you? (Only joking!)

Time to Think

2010-12-08T10:33:00.005Z

That's what I keep hearing that people are missing. So many people I talk to now say that they just don't get the time to think clearly. Whether at work or at home we all seem to be so busy that we can't even think through things like what we'd like to be different, what we've enjoyed doing or even (on occassion) what day of the week it is.

No wonder we are getting more and more stressed and feel less and less fulfilled. Even if we are living a good life, are we having time to appreciate it?

It seems to me that the way we live is speeding up more and more as the days go by. We have more tools to help us get things done quickly, microwaves to cook our food, email to send messages instantly but sometimes you have to wonder if they cause more of a problem than a solution. Are we taking the time to cook and eat healthy meals? Are we spending the day tied to our desks trying to just keep up with the amount of emails that we are receiving?

I'm no genius, I don't have the solution. What I do know is that I need to make the time to think about what I do want from the year ahead and what I don't and when I've decided that then I can decide how to use the tools I have to my advantage and to make life work for me.

It's something my clients have been saying that they need aswell so I'm looking at a variety of ways of helping them to achieve this. If it's something that you would find useful there's some ideas on the Information pages on this blog.

Got more ideas? Then please share them here!

Coming Soon!

2010-12-01T12:21:00.000Z

Time Aside
With You in Mind

•Would you like to receive a FREE lifestyle e-zine ?
•Full of useful and interesting information on a wide range of topics?
•A publication that keeps you in mind?
•No adverts?
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Then subscribe NOW for Issue 1

So what will be in this e-zine? Well we’ll have regular contributions from The Team with guest writers making an appearance as well. In the first issue you will find the following articles:

•Eating with the seasons
•Success teams
•Tightness v weakness
•Benefits of meditation
•A very handy product for your preparation

Subscription Prize Draw
I strongly encourage you to subscribe for the first issue. WHY? Because everyone who is subscribed on the 15th December will be entered into the prize draw with the chance to win a prize from each of our regular contributors, that’s a prize package worth over £200 consisting of:

•a 2 hour consultation to take a practical look at your home decorating plans with Mrs Paintbrush
•60 min Reiki or crystal healing treatment with Angela Samm
•3 life coaching sessions with Clare Wildman Coaching
•An Muscle Activation Technique MOT with Gareth Snelson
•Gift bag of jams from Hazel’s Homegrown

You will be able to unsubscribe at any time, though of course we would like you to take a look through issue one first and see what you think.

Our Team.
We do hope that you will join us and that you’ll find Time Aside a great read to enjoy in your spare time, it’s been put together with you in mind so please feel free to share your thoughts with us and we’ll take your comments on board.

Remember we will only send you a copy if you ask for one.

Read here to find out more about our contributors and what they will be writing about in future issues.

Ady Cartwright, aka Mrs Paintbrush
I set up Mrs Paintbrush Professional Painting & Decorating business nearly 5 years ago now. You may have seen me or my van in the local area as I am based in Loughton, Milton Keynes. Over the years I have built up a great deal of knowledge and “tricks of the trade” which I will share with you in a series of articles in the following e-magazines. I want to offer you some regular tips that you may like to try out for yourself. I hope to encourage you to progress with your own decorating plans – there is always something to do to maintain your home or more excitingly make changes to it. If you’d like any specific advice please feel free to contact me, I will certainly offer you a reply.
W: www.mrspaintbrush.co.uk

Angela Samm
As a Reiki Master and Crystal Healer I am passionate about how we nourish ourselves on all levels.
Both Reiki and Crystals are a form of energy healing / balancing which are extremely relaxing, non-invasive, complimentary to traditional medicine and will work on all levels; emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological – true nourishment of the soul.
At Healing Reiki Retreat you will find a place of tranquillity, peace and a space for healing. Encompassing various treatments; Reiki, Crystals, Oriental Face Massage, Workshops and 1:1 Coaching, it is a place that encourages and supports personal development on all levels.
As well as individual treatments, I run workshops which introduce you to the benefits and the practical appliance of meditation. Learning about our energy centres, and experiencing guided meditations, the workshops are a wonderful opportunity to take time out of your busy and hectic life and to reflect on where you are right now, on your wonderful journey of life!
I will be writing about the many aspects and benefits of mediation as well as further information about energy healing and how to care for our Mind Body & Soul.
W: www.healingreikiretreat.co.uk

Clare Wildman (Me!)
I found Life Coaching after a 20 year search for what I wanted to be when I grew up. I’d enjoyed the jobs I’d had since leaving school but there was always something missing. In 2007 I booked myself some coaching sessions to find out what I wanted to do and to try out this thing called coaching to see if I wanted to do that. It turns out I did!

By 2008 I had set up in business with a Diploma in Personal Development Coaching which was soon followed by the Advanced Diploma.

My clients work on all aspects of their lives and we take care not to focus on one aspect to the detriment of others. The most rewarding aspect of my work has to be helping people to work out what it is that they really want so that they can then work towards it.

In Time Aside my articles will be looking at working out what it is that you really want and how to go about achieving your success.
W: www.clarewildmancoaching.co.uk

Gareth Snelson
After ten years of false starts in engineering, marketing, purchasing and warehouse management I qualified as a personal trainer in 2003. Following an injury in 2007 I came across a therapy called Muscle Activation Techniques (MAT) that changed my life. It was like entering the Matrix, suddenly everything made sense, my pain and injuries were dealt with, I felt stronger, moved faster and more freely, and then my clients started getting the same amazing results. My training methodology is based upon treating each client on their own individual merits, bolstering their strengths and developing upon their weaknesses, with an emphasis on balanced movement and joint integrity. For you, the client, this means you stay pain free and less prone to injury, with the ability to sustain an exercise regime and increase your health with greater muscle strength and tone.
W: www.garethsnelson.co.uk

Hazel Roberts
I knew nothing about growing fruit and veg until 1996 when my partner (now husband) Steve decided to dig over a bit of our back garden to grow a few vegetables. Two years later we took on an allotment plot and a year later we took over our second allotment plot. In 2004 I published "Hazel's Homegrown - the kitchen gardeners kitchen and garden handbook", a book all about how to grow fruit and vegetables and what to do with the stuff once you have. Then I set up Hazel's Homegrown on ebay to sell my now numerous recipe books, plus seeds and other kitchen and gardening items. We still have two allotments which we enjoy with our two daughters, and I also run an after school gardening club once a week at a local school .
W: www.hazelshomegrown.co.uk

Responsibility - Flying the Flag for a bit of Sense

2010-11-29T16:56:00.009Z

Today's musings were triggered when I emailed my friend Homegrown Hazel to find out how she and the family got on at the local Santa's Saunter to raise money for the RNLI. Now it's a good cause and it should have been a lot of fun but....it was a frosty so the event was postponed. That's 'frosty', not 7 inches deep in snow!

As we fell into discussion about 'how things were in our day' (we're not that old really but it felt like it) we realised that the organisers will have taken these precautions just in case someone got hurt and held them to blame. From their point of view I can actually understand it but when and why did things change to make this possible? When did we start to think that we might not be responsible for our own actions and safety?

One of the first concepts covered in my training as a coach was that we can't set goals for others and we should only set goals for areas within our control, not that of others. I believe this is extremely important as we have to take responsibility for our own actions, our own futures and our own health and well being. That is not to say that anyone should get away with being negigent in the care of others but surely we all have to take responsibility for making our own judgements as well?

Yes I agree that we shouldn't be asked to do things that are dangerous or hazardous to our health and we certainly shouldn't be expected/told to do things that are dangerous but neither should we be stopped from doing things that are perfectly safe if only we pay a little bit of attention.

What I found really ironic about this is that the people the fundraising was for, the RNLI, go out in all weathers and take all sorts of risks to save others. Many of whom may well not have taken sensible precautions. Would we expect them not to launch the boats because the sea was a little choppy. Thank goodness they are prepared to take some sensible risks and thanks to them many lives have been saved.

I'll end my thoughts for the day with the rather lovely observation of Hazel's daughter who, on being told of all the things that mum got up to as a child, said "she wished she could live back then as it sounds more exciting even if it does mean she'd also have to eat food like Angel Delight!" A little reminder to us all perhaps that we could do with lightening up a little, having a bit of fun and not minding the odd bruise or scratch that may come with it.

Have a bit of fun today!

If you'd like to find out what HomeGrown Hazel gets up to when she's not not doing charity walks you can catch up with her on her own blog Hazels-Homegrown.

Monday Blues - not for me

2010-11-08T17:30:00.006Z

It may surprise you to hear that it's Monday. Why? Well there's a couple of reasons really.

The first is that I'm feeling all relaxed and refreshed after the weekend.
Then I find that as a result Monday is the most productive day of the week.
To top it all off Monday is the day that I meet up with the Goal Watchers group and we set up the rest of the week to make sure that we make progress on our goals and keep the balance in our lives.

I love holding the meeting on a Monday as it just seems like the perfect day for it. Yes by the time 8 o'clock comes around I'm starting to flag a little as the first day of the week takes it's toll but that is what makes it all the better for meeting up with everyone. We motivate and inspire each other and when 9 o'clock comes around I'm buzzing and ready to go all over again.

What's your favourite day of the week and why?

PS. If you are reading Mike - of course the main draw back to Monday is that I don't get to spend much time with you!

Christmas Lists

2010-11-01T10:39:00.003Z

It's that time of year when organised friends and relatives start asking what you'd like for Christmas and you start making your lists. I always find this really difficult as I love surprises and small presents but I do appreciate how hard it is to get the right presents.

I tend to think about the little treats that I want that I wouldn't be likely to buy for myself and also the practical things that will help me next year. Books are always a great favourite and there's nothing better than being introduced to a new author by receiving a book as a present.

As you work towards putting your list together this could be a great opportunity to put some time aside to think about what it is that you really want. Let's face it the whole idea of gifts is that you get something special to you and that you truely appreciate and the giver can tell that.

So what DO you want? Who are you going to be in 2011 and what would help you to be that person? With the huge range of gifts available to chose from once you have answered these questions it must surely be easier to get that list together and it may well provide inspiration as to the type of gift that others might like to receive from you.

If you'd like to spend some time working out what you REALLY want the last Going for Gold workshop of 2010 will be running on Friday 12th November if you'd like to join us on a journey of self exploration call me now to book your place.

Getting Started - losing the 'shoulds' and discovering 'coulds'

2010-10-19T08:11:00.004+01:00

Isn't this often the hardest part? It can be overcomming the inertia that makes this a difficult point in anything that we set out to do, I have found though that the hardest part is very often deciding what we are actually setting out to achieve.

Knowing what it is that you really want can often be the main stumbling block in getting out there and achieving it. When talking to clients about why they haven't taken action (and when having this discussion myself with my coach) it often turns out that the answer is because we just don't REALLY want it. It's often something we feel we should want or that is sensible but there is simply no passion, no motivation behind it.

Of course it is possible to increase your motivation, we can make ourselves achieve things that we feel we must, we should and so on. How much better is it though if we can find those things that we really, really do want and then go about them with relative ease.

Spending some time tapping into our true desires and trying to shrug off the 'shoulds' of society and family, discovering the 'coulds' in our lives can be both rewarding and liberating. It can be difficult and frustrating as well and however much time we set aside and whatever tools we use to try and uncover our real purpose we may not achieve it immediately but get the ball rolling and it will gather pace.

If you'd like to set the ball rolling and spend some time with others on the same quest the last Going for Gold workshop of 2010 is taking place on Friday 12th November. We'll spend the morning looking at who we really are and exploring what it is that we may want to have, do and be. This is followed by a one to one personal coaching session booked at a time to suit you. Alternatively if you'd like some support on a one to one basis then please give me a call to talk about how we can set you free from the 'shoulds' to discover your very own set of 'coulds'

Survey Thanks!

2010-10-11T13:52:00.002+01:00

A huge thank you to everyone who has taken part in my survey on success teams. The prize draw has taken place and the winner was local photographer Karen Parker. I'm leaving the survey open though so if you haven't yet taken part but would like to then please feel free.

I'll be bringing you the findings soon!

Success Teams Part 2

2010-09-21T16:19:00.008+01:00

In my last post I talked about who has success teams and what roles may need to be filled. Today I'd like to share with you some of my thoughts about how to select the people to fill these roles.

Like with any vacancy this is going to depend on the exact nature of the role and the skills/knowledge already available to you. In the Davina article there were references to trust, honesty and openness along with the ability to have a laugh together. When this is right you can see that it is possible to have very long and positive working relationships.

One of the key considerations is that the people in your team should share the same values as you. If you are working toward a healthy lifestyle then having someone who doesn't believe that this is important in your team could prove distracting. To work out what your values are, or those of other people, talk about the things that are really important to you, the things that get you buzzing or the things that really, really wind you up. You'll soon see what is important. When I carried out this exercise with my coach I was talking to her about how I get a kick out of finding more efficient ways of working and how long laborious processes really wind me up. Efficiency is a key value for me and I would want to have people in my team who were always searching for more effective methods for every process that was undertaken.

Attitudes are also very important. However positive and chirpy you may be feeling if you spend time regularly with pessimistic and miserable people you are very likely to find it hard to continue with your optimism and will soon start to lose your joie de vivre. If you need a quiet and thoughtful environment to work in don't surround yourself with chatterboxes, it's a recipe for disaster! Just as for values it is essential that you know yourself before recruiting your team.

Skills and knowledge are the next point for consideration. Cut yourself some slack and remember that you don't need to know everything yourself and you certainly don't have to do it all yourself. There are people out there who specialise and they are the best to assist and advise.

Finally remember that everyone needs someone whose job it is to question and challenge them. Michael Neill mentions in his 'Creating the Impossible' audios that all kings had a jester whose job it was criticise and counsel the monarch.

Have you got any other useful tips for selecting a success team?

Success Teams - Part 1 (SURVEY)

2010-09-21T15:53:00.010+01:00

I've just been reading the article in Tesco magazine about Davina McCall and her team (the online version does not include this information). Listed in the article are:
Hairdresser
Make-up artist
Stylist
PR
It has reminded me that many successful people have a close team around them to support and advise them. In this article Davina talks about how important relationships are to her and it comes across clearly that these are important people in her life as she's worked with most of them for at least 6 years.

I particularly noticed this article as it is something I've been thinking about a lot since reading 'My Championship Year' by Jenson Button earlier this year. In this account Jenson refers to Team Button which consists of:
Manager
Physio
Trainer
PA
and of course a driver always has his pit crew in whichever team he's racing for.

These mentions have got me thinking about how necessary it is to have the right people around you, whatever it is that you are looking to achieve. Indeed you often hear people say that if you want to be successful you should surround yourself with successful people and if you want to be happy, be with happy people.

It's interesting to think that Mike and I have already thought about our success team when we were playing 'If we win the lottery...' Within minutes we'd decided that we would have a personal trainer, gardener, cleaner, chef and a mechanic (well we'd need help maintaining our fleet of classic cars!)

I already consider myself to be very lucky as I have always had great teams around me. Those in my work teams have provided me with lots of support, learning and fun. Since being self employed I have massively extended teams of people with a very wide range of skills and knowledge who have been so supportive and helpful to me and my business. The team extends to those who I know online and those who may never know of my existence but whose books I have taught me valuable lessons and provided much needed support and encouragement.

I love the thought that I will be included in some people's success teams, however large or small my contribution may be. That my work makes this more likely is just one of the reasons that I love it so much.

So now I'm wondering....to be the best that you can be what roles would need filling in your success team? If you'd be kind enough to take part in my survey I'm running a prize draw for a meal for two at Red Hot World Buffet. I'll do the draw on Thursday 7th October and announce the results on the 8th. To take part please click here and if you know anyone else who'd like to get involved ask them to join in!

When did you last clear your drains?

2010-09-21T11:35:00.002+01:00

Nope I'm not talking about the plumbing. I'm talking about all those little jobs and things that you have been meaning to do but.... The ones that no sooner have you thought about them than the life force has drained from your body. Go on, admit it even that quick thought has made you feel lethargic!

The strange thing is that most times, at some level, we know we'll feel much better when the job has been done and will often have a surge of energy but...we still don't get on and get it out of the way.

It's a great idea to confront these tasks and we did some of that this weekend. Mike did some real plumbing for his mum, tackled some work in the garden and we headed for Ikea and finally got our pictures framed and on the wall. When you consider that this includes a picture we bought on our first holiday together back in 2004 then you'll understand that we have been procrasting for a while but why? Now that the pictures are on the wall we both feel great and it only took a couple of hours including the trip to Ikea.

It's worth making a list of all those little jobs and things you've been meaning to do. Get them all down on paper and then ask yourself if you really do want or need to do them. If not just cross them off! There you go, feeling better already. Now pick one or two and just get on and do them. If you can do one or two a day you'll soon have the list in the bin, you'll be feeling great having achieved loads and of course you'll never let the list build up again will you?!

Guest - Judith Morris of Organised Chaos

2010-08-10T09:01:00.002+01:00

Clare and I met some months back at a business networking event and immediately realised we were on the same wavelength. My business ‘Organised Chaos’ is all about helping people get organised and part with their clutter. Basically Clare is helping people to de-clutter their heads so they can lead more fulfilling lives and ultimately realise their dreams.

People I meet often fail to make the connection between physical clutter (call it untidiness in the extreme, if you prefer) and what goes on in the mind. When I started de-cluttering in 2007 I was already aware of this link. The more work I do, the more convinced I am that the two aspects are inseparable.

This is why Clare and I are able to work together. We are coming at the same problem from different angles. When Clare is coaching her clients she is in a way breaking down barriers, ultimately, this could lead her clients to some physical de-cluttering. Equally, when I help people work through their physical clutter there is inevitably some connection with their emotions and long-held beliefs. By sorting unwanted or surplus belongings and applying rational judgements it enables many clients to come to terms with the past and move on.

I’m excited to be working with Clare, because I know that jointly we can touch more lives and be the catalyst for more positive change. Helping others is what motivates us both – so watch this space!

If you’re interested in finding out more about ‘Organised Chaos’, and how I work with clients, please take a look at my website where you can sign up for my free newsletter, for hints and tips straight to your inbox. Why not take a look at my own blog? “Organised thoughts from a clutter-free mind” is a more chatty exploration of my attitude to life and being organised!

Moovellous Fun

2010-07-19T08:56:00.006+01:00

Another Midnight Moo has been cowpleted (and that's the end of my puns I promise) and what an event it was!

I'd like to congratulate everyone who took part: the walkers, organisers, volunteers, sponsors and supporters. There won't be an official notification of the amount raised for a little while yet (hint, hint....there's still time to sponsor someone) but the current total is a massive £91,355!

It was a fantastic sight with over 2000 women in their pink Midnight Moo t-shirts and various levels of fancy dress all packed into Midsummer Place ready and raring to go despite the hour. Heart FM kept the music coming which really helped to keep me awake. It took over 5 minutes for everyone to pass over the start line and then off we went through the shopping centre and out into Milton Keynes.

Despite the hour there were plenty of people out and about and the support was fantastic with cars beeping us and people waving from their houses. Please know that your support really helped to keep us going.

I was walking with my lovely friends Midwife Valerie and Mrs Paintbrush and it was a great opportunity for us to catch up and have a natter (well the early stages were). Listening around it was clear that many others were taking the opportunity of catching up with friends and family as well.

The marshalls were wonderful, cheering us on and keeping us informed as to how much further we had to go (sometimes motivational, sometimes not when we had further than we thought to go) and we wondered who really had the worse job...us walking round or them sat/standing in the dark of night and braving the chill that was in the air. Personally I think we had it best as we could keep moving and stay warm. Without the marshall there to keep us safe and on track though we would have been lost in more ways that one so a super huge THANK YOU to them all.

Thanks also to the staff at Midsummer Place who stayed on so we could be there and those providing food and drink to help keep us and the volunteers going. I know that those registering us in where a bit cool where they were sitting and really appreciated the availability of hot drinks.

For me the Midnight Moo sums up all that is truely great about Milton Keynes. The way that so many people of all ages and backgrounds come together to do something a little crazy for such a good cause and the fantastic way that it runs so smoothly and everyone has such fun.

I now have my sunflower and medal on my desk in front of me and I know that I'll soon be registering again for next year - hope to see you there!

GOING FOR GOLD IN JULY

2010-06-30T11:48:00.004+01:00

There's still time to book your place on this month's Going for Gold workshop.

Ideal for anyone facing redundancy and using it as an opportunity to decide what it is that you really want for your future. Also great for those feeling stuck and looking for that missing 'something'.

We'll spend a whole morning working together to open up new ideas and opportunities and give you a greater insight into what is really important to you.

Follow this with a one to one coaching session included free in the session rate. This is a great opportunity to follow-up on your thoughts from the morning and keep the momentum going.

Email or call to book your place now and find out what the days special offer is.
Tel: 01908 368607
Email: changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk

Holidays....

2010-06-29T14:44:00.003+01:00

Having just returned from a week in Cornwall I've been musing on how we take holidays. The benefits seem obvious on the face of it, we all need a break and a change of scenery does wonders for us. I've found my attitude to holidays to be a bit mixed though since I've been working for myself. Now there's a slight reluctance to leave the business behind, a worry that there may be things I need to do and, best of all, the fact that I love what I do.

This all adds up to me really enjoying my holidays AND being really keen to get back to work. It feels a little bit strange saying that but how great to have the best of both worlds!

One of the things I've been debating is whether or not to arrange access to my emails while I'm away so that I can 'just keep things ticking over'. Then I have to remind myself of the mini rant that I go into when companies expect their employees to still carry their mobile phones, blackberrys etc during their holiday, after all the idea is that we get to switch off from it all and have a proper break!

I've managed to do that this week and have really felt the benefit of it as I've returned refreshed and full of new ideas. That break gives time for you to see things from a new perspective and spend time with your loved ones without being preoccupied by your day to day routines. Ok so I did think of business a little bit while I was away, I had the odd idea or two and wondered how my clients were getting on with their goals and life changes (after all I'm only human) but over all the break has done me the power of good and I urge everyone to leave as much behind as they can and truely enjoy their holidays.

Redundancy - The Good Effect it Can Have

2010-06-11T18:41:00.005+01:00

I was really pleased to hear last week that though a friend of mine is under threat of redundancy she is being incredibly positive about it. Instead of concentrating on the unknowns and uncertainties that it might bring she told me, with some degree of excitement, that it gives her the chance to look at what she really wants to do.

It's not the first time I've heard this, or heard that those who have been made redundant have ended up looking back and deciding that it was the best thing that could have happened to them. Many, it seems, have been stuck in a rut and it has taken an enforced change in circumstances for them to realise and have the freedom to change.

Thinking about this has had me thinking about how easy it is to get caught up in our day to day events and not take the time to reassess. How easy it is to keep working with the belief that we still want the way of life that we chose in our teens. That we want the same things as our friends and neighbours without stopping to wonder if things have changed for us or to realise that we have actually wanted different things all along.

I've been incredibly fortunate in that my choice of career helps me to regularly reasses my aims and goals and I mix with people who do the same. I can see though that I have been stuck in the past and some of the ideas that I have been working to are old thoughts and beliefs that are no longer relevant to me as I've grown up and changed.

I'll be making sure that I take some time out to think about my own direction, values and needs as I run my next workshop and exercise my freedom to choose. I'm also hoping that my friend will join us for one of the sessions and continue to see the opportunities that lie ahead.

Turn your vision into a fashion item

2010-06-04T18:20:00.000+01:00

Have you heard about vision boards? A friend has introduced me to Clippy bags which allow you to carry your vision around with you.

Mrs Paintbrush's vision bag

Visions boards are a collection of photos, drawings and other visual images that represent your 'dream' and are normally hung on the wall for you to see every day. However you can now put together a collage and carry it around with you every day instead. I love the idea of this and they have a full range of items which you could use instead.

Find out what you want for only £29

2010-06-01T19:23:00.002+01:00

Unbelievable but true! If you book before 11th June on the Going for Gold workshop to be held on the 9th July you only have to pay £29 for a mornings workshop, a personal coaching session AND a 5% discount on all Clare Wildman Coaching products.

If you are curious about what it is that YOU want from life rather than what you think you SHOULD want or what others want for you then it would be great to see you there.

Attendees at previous dates have said:

"It was time to focus on what is important to me, to open up to new possibilities and have the freedom to choose." AC, MK

"I recently attended Clare's Going for Gold workshop and was very impressed with how Clare ran the session. She was encouraging, inclusive and insightful throughout. I would highly recommend this workshop; it's both enjoyable and valuable. I came away with fresh ideas, motivation and clear goals.” FM, Olney

"Throughout the session we completed tasks and had group discussions. Clare then followed the workshop up a week later with a 1-2-1 session. The workshop was a brilliant introduction to goal setting and has definitely given me some clearer ideas and goals for my professional and private life.” JG, MK

To join us on the 9th July call me on 01908 368607 or email changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk before 11th June to save yourself £46 on the regular £75 price per person.

Saturday 8th May

2010-04-21T09:41:00.000+01:00

That's the date for the next Going for Gold workshop. There are only THREE days left to book at the Early Bird rate of £29.

Do you know someone who is vaguely unhappy with their life but they don't know what they want instead? or maybe they are really unhappy and still don't know what they want?

Until recently that might have been said of me. I knew that though I enjoyed much of my life there was still something missing, something not quite right. I just couldn't put my finger on what needed to change, or what it needed to change to.

In my Going for Gold workshop I have put together some of the exercises that I have used and have created a time for people to look at what they might want from the year ahead. There will be time to consider what you want rather than the things that you feel you should want.

Email me on changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk to reserve your place with the FREE personal coaching session follow-up and 5% discount on all Clare Wildman Coaching products.

Flowers, space and relaxation

2010-04-14T09:03:00.009+01:00

For me one of the best things about running my own business is the fantastic people that I get to meet. In the course of duty I have to have coffee and chat to other business owners, it's really tough but....

In the last week I have met two great new business owners and been lucky enough to try out one great new service.

First I met Jill of Back to the Fuchsia in Stony Stratford. A friend had told me about this great florist and I'd used her online service before. Finding myself in Stony on Friday I decided to call in and say hi. The shop is at one end of the High Street in Stratford Arcade (rather handily opposite a cafe!) and I knew I'd got the right place from the lovely displays in the window.

It was this display that really caught my eye as this was what I had ordered for a friend recently. I love the bright colours and the modern feel and know that I'd love to have this on display in my house.

I was amazed to see the ease with which she was assembling perfect looking button holes for a wedding (I struggle to arrange a single daffodil in a vase!). I stayed for a chat about business and all the while she carried on calmly assembling button holes and creating mini masterpieces.

The next new business owner I met was Judith of Organised Chaos. There's a clue in the business name for sure as Judith works with her clients to clear their clutter. Her website had already shown me some fantastic before and after photos and from talking to Judith it was easy to see why she gets such great results - she's really passionate about what she does.

The main thing that struck me during our conversation was how much care went into making sure her clients were happy with the results, she has a true understanding of which things are important to people and shows respect for their attachment to their clutter. You can see from the photos that she is not going to create a sterile environment in your home that you won't be able to live with, she wants you to be able to relax and enjoy your space!

I'm signed up now for Judith's newsletter and am looking forward to our next meeting!

Wednesday 7th was a great day for me. I consider myself very lucky to have met Angela Samm in the course of my studies and even luckier when I was invited to take part in her first relaxation and mediation session. From the minute that I walked in the door I found myself getting calmer(and I'd already thought I was relaxed!)

I'm not going to tell you too much about this morning as for me part of what was so special was that I didn't know what to expect. What I will tell you is that Angie is very passionate about helping people to discover more, to learn and to share in an environment where you feel totally safe to say 'well actually I don't agree with that, I can't believe it'.

What I will tell you is that you'll be so relaxed and calm by the time that you leave that you really shouldn't have anything planned for the rest of the day. Why spoil such a good thing!

Dates have now been announced for more of these sessions - get your bookings in quickly.

I hope you've enjoyed my mini-reviews as much as I enjoyed gathering the information!

Spring Start

2010-03-18T14:03:00.004Z

This week has been a time of fresh thoughts and new beginings for me and I'd like to thank all the people who have triggered this revival in me.

It started with pulling out a book by Patrick Holford (nutrition expert) and realising that there is so much I would like to know about the fuel I chose to supply my body with. This is tying in nicely with the MK Snap Slimming club and I'm currently undergoing a bit of a research project.

I'm also looking at spring cleaning my office as it is looking rather overcrowded at the moment and I really need to find a home for so much (including my Motorsport Print).

The business spring clean was triggered by my friend and EFT practitioner Jenny Chalmers who was telling me about a one page business plan. This was a very timely memory jog as my own business plan is definitely in need of reviewing and my business year starts on the 1st April.

As I go through my own personal Spring Clean I'm wondering what I can do to help others, what support I can offer.....watch this space to see what I come up with.

Cookathon for Kents Hill School

2010-03-11T13:27:00.002Z

A friend of mine is organising a Cookathon event at her daughters' school. On 16th March (next Tuesday) we need to get as many people as possible cooking baked potatoes. The winning school will receive £1000. I would love it if you would all cook a baked potato on this day if you can - you can do it at home and eat it whenever you like as long as it is on 16th March.

If you think you can manage this then please email me and I will add your name to our list of participants. If you are feeling particularly enthusiastic and think you could sign up friends, family and colleagues then please email me and I'll send you a form. If anyone would like a copy of a poster to put up somewhere please let me know and I will email you a version to print.

Thanks
Clare

Going for Gold - 2010 Information and Dates

2010-02-15T18:25:00.002Z

Spend a morning with like-minded people and the guidance of Life Coach, Clare Wildman, discovering just what it is that you really want.

What inspires you?
What motivates you to take action?

Make your first move by booking now for:
Morning interactive event in Milton Keynes
FREE personal coaching session
5% discount on all Clare Wildman Coaching products

All for just £75 per person, or just £29 if you book 4 weeks in advance.

2010 dates (all sessions 9:15 to 12:45):
Friday 12th March
Saturday 8th May
Friday 9th July
Saturday 18th September
Friday 12th November

Email changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk or phone 01908 368607 to book your place.

Time Tricks

2010-02-12T14:25:00.003Z

Following on with my thoughts about time today....

I started this after I'd decided to make it a 'Flitter Friday' and in direct contrast to my last post I'm flitting between tasks today. Yep, you guessed it, I'm working on a task that I don't get much pleasure from - the ironing.

So I decided this morning that I'd do a bit of ironing and then 'flit' back to the computer. So far I've managed to halve the ironing pile and hardly noticed that I'd been doing it. The goal being to have all the ironing done so I can put everything away for the weekend and start again on Monday.

Time's up so I'm off back to do another three items.

Anyone got any time tricks they'd like to share?

Time - What's it all about?

2010-02-09T18:17:00.004Z

I've been pondering on my relationship with time for a little while now...well since I first started working on Michael Neill's Creating the Impossible really.

Up until then I'd been believing that I'm a victim of time:
it goes too quickly
there's never enough
I don't control my own time
and so on, and so on.....

My change in perception all started with Michael's simple suggestion on how to organise my tasks for the day. Have a list of all the things that you need to do and then have another list with just one of those tasks on. Only look at that list and act as if that is the only task that you have to do today.

Simple.

Actually it took me a long time to get used to not thinking about all the tasks on the other list but once I did - it was fantastic!

You see I'd become very task focussed and only considered my day to have been successful if I'd been able to tick lots of tasks as completed from my list. (I even have a pretty spreadsheet to keep track of them all!) Since working for myself I'd realised that this isn't always a good thing. Some tasks need you to take time, to research, to think, to ponder and to change and I was finding that I was getting very anxious to quickly complete each task rather than completing each task well.

By using this new method I now find that I can get into that magical state of 'flow' where I'm just thinking about the task in hand and the work becomes so much easier. So for today I've just had to write this blog post, and I've thoroughly enjoyed doing it!

Any more thoughts on 'time'?

Climb Your Mountian - Kilimanjaro

2010-02-09T17:43:00.003Z

The Climb Your Mountain team are on the second day of their climb. If you'd like to keep up to date with their progress you can follow them on Simon's blog. How fantastic that he is not only climbing but also taking the time out to update his blog!

The team have been training hard for this trip. The one thing that they can't prepare for though is the effects of altitude sickness, it may affect you or it may not. Today's post suggests that several of the crew have been affected. Fingers crossed that the medication will do it's trick and they will all be feeling better and ready for Climb Day 3.

Good luck to them all!

Goal Booster - 2st 12lb weight loss

2010-02-04T09:59:00.001Z

Goal Booster – Healthy Eating and Incidental Weight Loss

GW has yo-yo dieted for many years now and followed all sorts of different regimes. In March 2009 she signed up for ‘Goal Booster’ and made a start on finding her own way forward to a healthy future weight by taking the focus off the weight loss and looking at a healthy way of eating. Now a wonderful 2 stone 10lb lighter she’s finding her maintenance plan and sharing her story.

“I know what to do but the problem is doing it! Reporting daily to Clare has kept me on task and I have now lost (weight) and am feeling great. Of course, I have to be prepared to be truthful. Telling fibs won’t help.”

How did Goal Booster work for GW, well to start with she reported in daily to say that she had kept to the commitments she’d made and to get a daily boost of encouragement. As she was reporting in to a trained life coach she was also encouraged to look at the motivation and options around her actions and aims.

In March 2009 GW started out with the aim of sticking to three meals a day and cutting out the snacking which she felt to be the key to her health. There was a hope to loose weight and she had a figure in mind but the main aim was to stick to the daily action of three meals a day and feel better in herself.

By reporting in each day she made incredible progress with a few odd slips. These slips were fantastic opportunities to explore her attitudes to food and find out what was happening for her with a few questions to answer. Over time she explored areas such as:

• What led to snacking and over eating
• Varying her approach to being healthy
• How to act as a visitor to someone else’s home with regards food
• How to manage being a good host and not over eat the leftovers
• Introducing variety and not getting bored
• Stress and tiredness effecting on eating
• Food habits such as tea and biscuits
• Favourite foods, how to enjoy them without over doing it
• Could vs should

By thinking about these areas over the months and gradually changing her views and developing her own opinions GW found a wealth of internal resources that kept her on track to achieve her goal and more. More? Well these quotes from her emails tell their own story:
4th June “Should really be about 9st but don’t expect to get there.”
31st July “I said to loose another stone. Weight Watchers target was 8st 10lb when I was a bit taller. Lowest since retirement was 9st 5lb.”
28th September “I’ve reached my original target but want to loose a few more pounds before starting my maintenance.”
17th November “When I lost weight before I just couldn’t get lower than 9st. I think it will be the same this time.”
20th November (just three days later!) “8st 12lb”
30th December “I am also having to change my fleeces at M&S yet again, this time for a size 12. Last Christmas I was wearing size 20. It might have been a bit large cos it hid me. Now I'm prepared to wear it more fitting.”

Going for Gold update

2010-02-02T13:42:00.007Z

Getting some nice pretty materials ready including some great feedback from the last workshop. I'm really looking forward to running some more dates as it was a great morning.

How often do you get time to sit down with like-minded people to have a think about what you want, what gives you pleasure and what is really important to you? This workshop lets you do all that and more.

The new dates will be held at the Express by Holiday Inn hotel in Fox Milne, Milton Keynes and each will be a morning event. Each place costs £75 and includes a FREE personal coaching session and a 5% discount on all Clare Wildman Coaching products. Early booking rate of £29 if you book 4 weeks in advance. What a bargain! Hurry to take advantage of this offer as the first place has already gone.

Give me a call on 01908 368607 or send an email to changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk to book your place now, I'd love to work with you!

Going for Gold - New Dates!

2010-01-29T11:43:00.005Z

Just a quick update to let you know that following the success of the workshop on Saturday I am pleased to be able to announce some new dates to take us through the year.

Morning workshops will be held on:
Friday March 12th
Saturday May 8th
Friday July 9th
Saturday September 18th
Friday November 12th

I'll add more details next week. If you are interested in joining us on any of these dates please email me at changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk or call on 01908 368607

Coaching in Milton Keynes takes on a new twist!

2010-01-25T15:35:00.002Z

That's what we thought when we turned up to the workshop on Saturday and saw the sign outside the room. It announced to the world that the room was booked out to Claire Wildman Couching.

One delegate commented that she was surprised we hadn't had anyone knocking on the door to join us!

Typos aside we had a great day and I'm now looking forward to the one to one sessions that follow on from the morning. We had a great group of people there and our discussions were lively with some great points made.

I'm looking forward to running another half day session, maybe on a weekday this time.

If you'd be interested in spending a few hours working out what it is that you really want rather than the things that you feel you should want then let me know and I'll update you when I have some new dates in the diary. Otherwise watch this space as I'll be announcing them soon.

Ready and Raring to go!

2010-01-22T18:42:00.002Z

I've had a great day getting ready for tomorrow's 'Best Year Yet - Going for Gold' workshop. I'm really looking forward to the morning session as I'm lucky and know everyone who is coming and they are going to be really great to work with.

The added bonus for me is that I'll get to work with them again for their one to one coaching session and then again next January for their end of year review.

Getting very excited now and I'm sure that there'll be some topics to discuss coming out of the work that we do.

2010 Your Best Year Yet

2010-01-08T10:26:00.002Z

Going for Gold
in Milton Keynes

Are you determined to make sure that 2010 is your best year yet?
Are you likely to make the same New Year Resolution as 2009?
What will make the difference?
What is it that you really want?

Spend a morning with like-minded people and the guidance of trained Life Coach, Clare Wildman, discovering just what it is that you really want, what inspires you and motivates you to take action. By the end of the morning you will have found out more about who you are, what makes you tick and how you want the year ahead to be.

When you know what you really want to achieve and begin to make steps in the right direction your life will start to ‘fit’ and you will feel great knowing that you are following your own purpose.

To take your first step to making 2010 a ground breaking year signup now to get:
- morning interactive event,
- FREE personal coaching session,
- 5% discount on all Clare Wildman Coaching products
- End of year review

£75 per person
£29 to Early Bird bookers. For February book before 20th January.

Call Clare now on 01908 368607 or email changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk to book your place on 23rd January or 6th February 2010.

“The path I have chosen now and the choices I have made have been partly down to Clare and the way she works and her subtle guidance has enabled me to become a strong and independent business woman.”
LC, Milton Keynes

"I don't know how you did it, but after just one session with you I've seen a shift in my thinking which has lead to a much more motivated me."
MD – Leighton Buzzard

Routines - good, bad, or a bit of both?

2010-01-08T09:46:00.003Z

I got to pondering about routines the other day when (I'm embarrassed to say) I realised at 10:30 that I still hadn't cleaned my teeth. Why on earth not?! While I stood there giving them an extra long brush to make up I realised that I've not recreated my morning routines since I stopped 'going to the office' and that has thrown my day out right from the start.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not obsessive about routine it's just there are certain things you do at certain times and that can be very helpful as it means that you don't have to think about them. Have breakfast, clean teeth, go to work... Easy.

So now I have realised that it would be helpful (for me) to start a new routine. What that is I've not decided yet but I'll give it a try on Monday morning.

After more ponderings (it's been that kind of a week) I had moved on to see how my clients have experience routine in the changes that they have wanted to make. One client, who has lost a fantastic amount of weight started by breaking the routine of having snack between meals. She also had to consider how she wanted to address the routine of having a cup of tea with a biscuit or two...

Another client changed her routines to assist in her steps to becoming a non-smoker. This included things like changing where the cigarettes where kept and talking to the family before making a cuppa when she got home. The small changes meant that she wasn't following old habits and so didn't automatically take the next step. This meant that she often wasn't 'giving up' a cigarette she just wasn't remembering to clean her teeth (ooops) I mean she wasn't remembering to smoke them.

So I'm now giving great thought to the routines that I have and how I can use them proactively to make changes for me.

I Climbed My Mountain! (well it was a hill really)

2009-12-29T07:38:00.005Z

Well it wasn't Boxing Day (have to confess to a teeny hangover) but on Sunday Mike and I set off for Ivinghoe Beacon to test my fitness....

We left Milton Keynes clear of snow and were surprised to see more and more of it as we travelled south. It was mainly in the shadow of the hedges and it made the scenery beautiful. We parked the car and got our boots on, wrapped ourselves with scarves, hat and gloves. I was surprised at just how cold it was as we'd been for a shorter walk around Furzton lake on Saturday and I was so hot I had to take my coat off.

The path from the car park was still covered in snow and really icy where everyone had been walking. For a while I didn't think I'd make it any further than that as I'm totally pathetic walking when it is slippery. Still I had my walking pole and was very grateful for it!

Luckily the slippery path was over quickly and we moved into the sun and onto the upward climb. There were two paths to choose from and I picked the one on the right. I thought it looked the one with the most grip but Mike didn't.

We set off at a steady pace and the next thing I knew (only puffing slightly) we were at the top! I couldn't believe it, thought it was just the first part of the slope and that we had more to do but no we were there. Compared to last time I had practically ran up and I couldn't stop grinning.

The great thing is that it's not a massive hill, it's not a massive achievement in the scheme of things but for me....I felt on top of the world because I knew just how much different that walk was from the one we did about 3 years ago.

What now? I've no ambitions to climb mountains, run races or any of that I simply want to be fit enough to be able to enjoy our walks in this lovely country that we live in. Our little test walk has proved that this is achieveable now and I'll carry on going to the gym and doing the walks that I enjoy and striving for a healthy and fun future. What a great frame of mind to be in to welcome the New Year!

Nearly the end of the Goal

2009-12-20T13:03:00.002Z

Having had three weeks out of action with my cold I'm getting a little apprehensive about our Boxing Day walk now. Does that serve me right for getting all confident and thinking that I'd breeze it? Probably!

Still I have 6 days to go so I'm going to look at what I can do between now and then. The aim is to be able to walk Ivinghoe Beacon without having to stop and catch my breath. So despite the fact that I'm still coughing a bit on and off I'm going to head back to the gym this week and start with some gentle walking on the treadmill and then work at building up to level 20 on the cross trainer (where I was at pre-cold). I'll also move the stepper in the kitchen back to a useable position and do a little stint every day.

To add to the exercise I also need to get my focus back onto the fuel side and will be increasing the consumption of water and proteins and reducing the chocolate and empty calories.

My coach, Jacinta, has sent me her book and cd as a very kind and completely unexpected Christmas present so I'll be using them both to boost my enthusiasm over the Christmas period ready for resuming our coaching in the New Year.

Looking forward to being able to report on a successful walk and to deciding what 2010 is going to hold for me.

Cold halts progress!

2009-12-03T08:12:00.002Z

Just as everything was going swimmingly this week has heralded the arrival of a bit of a cold. Two mornings I've woken up with no voice (luckily it soon came back) but now it has turned into one of those really annoying tickly throat colds.

This has put rather a damper on my gym activity as aching legs and coughing aren't the best start to a session so I'm leaving well alone until I have recovered. I'm told this is the sensible thing to do and I know that it is and that I'll have to just get back into the swing/habit once fully recovered.

I've also noticed that at a time when it is particularly important to be filling your body with healthy fuels I have been craving junk and comfort food. I'm doing my best to resist temptation while giving in on occassion. The 'little girl' voice in my head keeps saying "but I'm poorly!", the grown up voice counters with "you will be if you don't eat well!". They are battling it out up there and I'm trying to stay sane in the process.

The proposed 'test walk' hasn't taken place and I don't think it will now as we start getting busier in the lead up to Christmas. Shopping and catching up with friends and family are high on the agenda. I keep thinking that I'm getting ready earlier than normal and then have to remember that we are already into December and the count down is well and truly on.

In the lead up to the festive period I'm enjoying any Christmas parties I go to and trying not to over eat, sticking to the bigger breakfasts with as much variety as I can and I'm now at the point where if I don't drink water during the day I'm noticing that I need it. All good signs of progress well made!

Busy, busy, busy!

2009-11-25T09:28:00.002Z

I can't believe how long it has been since my last update! Are you thinking that I've been slacking off? (I would be in your shoes) However, I haven't - I've been really busy.

My new health habits are coming along nicely. I drink water as a matter of routine rather than a constant diet of caffine, I've been going to the gym regularly and am now turning my attention to my breakfasts and making sure that I eat enough and have a healthy option.

I'm seeing the results as well. No I've not faded away but I can see that I'm developing muscle and I'm certainly able to do more at the gym and have been able to increase the weights. The work at the gym is also tying in nicely with my sessions with my personal trainer. Had a great workout with Gareth yesterday which has left me feeling just that nice little bit achy - you know the type that lets you know that you have worked hard but you can still walk!

I'm hoping that the weather will be good this weekend as we're planning a test walk on Ivinghoe Beacon to see how I'm doing for my goal. It's good to take a check every now and then when you can. I'm feeling very positive about it and looking forward to our Boxing Day walk already.

Friday 13th November 2009 - Lucky for Some!

2009-11-12T09:20:00.001Z

I found out yesterday that this Friday (that's tomorrow) 13th November is the second World Kindness day. What a fantastic idea and it means that it will be a lucky day for some.

It's late notice I know but in the spirit of the day I am offering 6 free life coaching sessions for anyone who would like help moving forward towards their goals, managing the changes in their life or would simply like to see what coaching is all about.

You can book your session online at http://my.timedriver.com/29RYJ. The system is setup for face to face sessions but please let me know if you would need a phone session.

All sessions are completely confidential and offered with no obligation what so ever - just kindness.

New habits

2009-11-10T09:28:00.003Z

It's been a while since my last update and I'm pleased to be able to report that I'm making really good progress in creating new habits. I now drink water as a matter of routine and going to the gym twice a week is also becoming routine to the point where I'm starting to miss it when we don't go.

I'd really like to go more often in an ideal world. For now though I'm concentrating on making it a part of my life and working out how to organise myself so that it can happen while I still do all the other things I want to.

We're also being hit a bit at the moment by some health issues. Nothing very major, colds, aches and a little dizziness, nothing to worry about in itself but certainly not the stuff to exercise with. That means a new discipline is required and I'm working on not getting knocked off course by these minor setbacks. I'm looking at what I feel I can do sensibly and being ready to get back to the gym as soon as I can. If the rain holds off one of the things that I can do today will be to walk to the post box with a letter. Little and often as they say.

The brilliant bit to report is that I am feeling much stronger and fitter already. Last week I changed my routine a little and moved from the cross trainer to the treadmill and plucked up the courage to do some running. Ok so I can only do a couple of minutes at a time for now, by the end of the month I'll be doing more.

My main focus this week will be restoring myself to my usual, or better, levels of health.

PMA - Postitive Mental Attitude

2009-10-26T08:28:00.002Z

In relation to the changes that I'm making to live a more healthy life this is going really well at the moment.

I'm still enjoying going to the gym. I do have to admit that I prefer not to go on my own but I am getting into the habit. This weekend we didn't go on Saturday as I wasn't feeling particularly well and seemed to sleep for most of the day (feel great now, sleep is such a good healer!) We didn't quite make it last night either as we lost track of time on a family visit. Mind you we were all dressed to go and had our things in the car. The most positive thing about this experience, and it may seem strange to some, is that I don't feel guilty about not having gone.

I know the right thing was for me to sleep on Saturday and I wish that I had planned around going to the gym better on Sunday but it doesn't matter as we'll go tonight instead. I said last week that one of my aims was to not feel guilty if things didn't go to plan and....I don't! I want to retain some feeling of spontenaity in my life and be able to 'go with the flow' while still achieving my goals. I've achieved that this week and it feels really good, very positive and I'm looking forward to going to the gym tonight where I will be looking to increase the level even more on the cross trainer.

This experiment around mental attitude has been really useful for me and a lesson I fully intend to remember!

Experimenting with my mental attitude

2009-10-22T17:22:00.000+01:00

I’ve had a good week! Well done me.

Since my last posting I’ve been to the gym twice and have drunk at least 500ml of water every day except Saturday (that’s half the weekend sorted) and one day I even managed a whole litre.

My plan for this week is to keep consolidating. I’m going to have drunk 500ml or more of water every day and I’ve three trips to the gym scheduled before our next Goal Watchers session.

This week I’ve been very aware of how I feel about my actions, or lack of them. There have been days when I’ve scheduled to go to the gym but haven’t and days when eating and drinking healthily really hasn’t been very exciting to me at all. A bit of guilt has crept in and I’ve been wondering if that is a good reaction for me to have or not.

My conclusion has been that for me it definitely is not something that works for me. On a personal level guilt often = give up. My focus has been on ‘not done it’ doesn’t mean I’ve stopped. Do I know why I didn’t do it? Is that alright by me? If the answer to those questions is ‘yes’ then I’ve been happy and focussed instead on what am I going to do in the coming days.

So….as it said in the title I’ve been experimenting with my mental attitude and I’ve become better self-aware as a result. In my book that can only be a good thing!

This weeks actions..

2009-10-15T14:14:00.004+01:00

Carrying on our topic from Tuesday night I have been looking at the actions I have set myself and wondering..
1. are there too many
2. are they the right actions
3. should I be doing something different

Some of these points came up in my session with my coach. Amongst some of the more personal issues that came up I decided that I need to work on just a couple of things at once for this goal, as I'm working on lots of other goals at the same time. It was a very revealing session and my thanks to Jacinta for working so well with me. Just shows how important it is for a coach to have her own coach!

So I'm easing up on myself this week. I'll be concentrating on being healthier by making sure I drink at least 500ml of water a day (and watching out for Saturday and Sunday when I have a tendency to change my routines) and make sure that I keep up the exercise. I'm really enjoying going to the gym and am gradually building my workouts up and feeling the benefit. This weeks action plan is to consolidate that.

How are you getting on with your goals?

Progress Report

2009-10-13T09:00:00.002+01:00

Progress this week has been varied. I'd say I've been about 50% successful in keeping to all the tasks that I've set myself. I've been interested to see how changes in routine and around the home can have such an impact on the actions I've set myself.

The kitchen is still in disarray due to the decorating and so the stepper is not in it's usual location. The kitchen is good as the windows are not overlooked at all so I'm happing pounding away there. The thought of moving the stepper even temporarily into the view of my neighbours windows has just stopped me dead. Typing this I realise that is ABSOLUTELY no excuse so I'm going to find a corner to hide in and do some stepping any minute now.

What I am really pleased with is the work out at the gym last night. I spent most of the time on the cross-trainer gradually increasing the level. This is the closest simulation I'll get to going up Ivinghoe so I feel that I'm on real training now.

RIGHT I mean business and I'm off to do some stepping. See you tonight I hope!

Early Days

2009-10-08T12:20:00.003+01:00

I need to learn a valuable lesson from my work on these goals. For me that is all about not trying to do too much in one go! Have I learnt it yet - nearly..

In the last week I have been following the actions that I set out with some success. Weekends are a problem point for me where I am easily sidetracked and the last few days my routine, and house, have been disrupted as we are having some decorating done.

The end result is that:
I have been to the gym twice this week and will be going again this afternoon
I did my weekly walk round Furzton lake with my friend
I've been about 50% successful on the spritzers
Drunk lots more water, not on Saturday or Sunday but I have had MORE than 500ml some days!
I honestly can't remember what gradient I had the treadmill on - I kept changing it
I've done about 75% of the stepper on at home days

Overall I'm pleased with the level of action I have taken and feel positive about the week ahead. Thinking through what I have planned for each day I can't forsee any major obstacles (which was not the case for last week) and will be keeping my actions the same for now.

How are you getting on?

Goal Watching in October

2009-10-01T14:52:00.003+01:00

For October there will be a change in style to the blog as I've promised the Goal Watchers group that I will share my goal with them and this is where I'm going to do it. As this goal takes me to the end of the year this is what I will be working on for the last three months and so the change in format.

I have decided that I will share the details of the goal as it may be more helpful to you. Don't forget that at Goal Watchers you can keep the details completely private if you would rather. If you would like to use this forum you can add information on your progress. Please remember if you do that this blog is open to everyone so it definitely won't be private.

My Goal (stated in the future, more about that in week 3):
It is 26th December and I have walked to the top of Ivinghoe Beacon without having to stop for breath.

My Vision:
The view is great. I'm standing tall, feeling proud, fit and healthy and breathing in the cool, fresh air. Mike is telling me how well I've done and reminding me how different it was the last time we did this walk. I feel on top of the world. I look slimmer, my clothes are comfortable and I know I weigh less.

So far:
I have started walking more
I work with a personal trainer when I can
I've joined the gym
I use my home gym equipment
I'm drinking more water
I think about what I eat
I have support from friends and family and the Goal Watchers!
I am working with my coach on achieving a lighter body so I'm not carrying so much up hill
I want to achieve this goal

My Options:
Walking - more walking meetings, weekend walks
Cycling
Running
Gym work - increase gradient on treadmill
Work with Personal Trainer more often
Healthy meals
Alcohol free drinks
Healthy snacks
Follow a diet
Use a fitness video
Join a walking group

(Do you remember me telling you I tend to stop quickly on the options? I'll come back to this one every day until our next meeting)

Action plan:
Weekly walk with friend, ask others if they will walk with me rather than meeting for coffee
Minimum of 2 trips to the gym each week (1hr or more) preferably 3
Spritzers on 'school nights'(only 1 each night)
500ml + water each day
Treadmill on 3.5 gradient or higher (increase by 0.5 next week)
Use my stepper every day that I'm at home

I've set myself a few actions there as some of them I've been working on for a little while, I've added a bit of stretch!

Now - Watch this space!

Ending the Month

2009-09-30T08:58:00.001+01:00

I've been doing ok since I got back from holiday, not great but not awful either. I'm back to only drinking proper coffee and enjoying it, am making a concerted effort with water drinking, have bought 3 cartons of fruit juice and consumed half so far (nothings gone off). It's the soda water in the wine I've been forgeting but I'm back on track with that now and have had 2 nights of no alochol at all.

Getting ready to decide what my October resolution will be now....after my coaching session I think.

September update

2009-09-22T10:00:00.002+01:00

Hi all back from a lovely trip to Europe where we managed to travel through 7 countries in 14 days. Had a great time and saw some lovely places, including the Grand Prix at Monza (missed Lewis going off though). Now I'm back and raring to go!

It's been a bit tricky keeping to my resolutions this month due to the nature of our travels and our accommodation (all bar two nights spent in a tent!). Instant coffee and red wine seemed to be the sensible choices at the time. I have drunk lots of water and fruit juice though so I'm feeling quite pleased with myself.

Now I'm back and have just reminded myself of all the things I should be doing. I'm back to the filter coffee, I nearly managed my 500ml of water yesterday (will make up for it and have some more today) and forgot completely to make my wine a spritzer. Still I'm launching the Goal Watchers club tonight so not likely to be drinking wine today.

I have learnt over the last two weeks that it is possible to go on holiday and not to overdo it with sweets and icecreams. Considering that our stops included Italy, Germany and Austria I'm actually amazed to be able to report that I only had 1 icecream and one apple strudel and one bit of cheesecake. I did enjoy brioche and pan au chocolat for breakfast mind! Still I've come back the same weight as I was when I left so I must have done something right!

Sundays

2009-09-04T12:24:00.003+01:00

For the last week I've had a printout of the BBC article on Sunday trading sitting on my desk waiting to be read. Today I've made the time and I'm so glad that I did as I found it really interesting. I also went back to the website to see what made Sunday distinctive for others and was surprised by what I read. Time I think to share my views....

Sunday trading kind of crept up on me. At the time the Sunday Trading Act 1994 was passed I was busy struggling with the realisation that I'd been alive for quarter of a century and I missed the importance of what was happening. The realisation really hit home when I visited a friend who'd moved to Berlin for a year. I was there for a Sunday and she pointed out that the shops were shut and it was 'like it used to be back home'. The roads were quieter, people were out and about but the pace had changed (not that it was as frantic as back home at any rate!). All of a sudden I was hit by a feeling of nostalgia and realised that I missed the peace and quiet and the change of pace that used to be a Sunday.

I don't really remember the whole Sunday lunch tradition, unless we went to visit Granny and Grandad, I was never forced to go to church nor was I forced to do 'family activities' and maybe that has helped me to long for the return of the specialness of the day. To me Sunday was a day about choice, not working and calm.

Over the last few years I've developed a bit of a thing about wishing we could return to some of the old ways. Looking around me and talking to those I work with I really think it would be of benefit if we did return to the days of having a day of rest/family day. It saddens me that we rush about at an increasingly faster pace, the roads seem to be as busy every day and the queues at the shops are as long day, night and weekend.

I'm not sure what the answer is I just know that there are more and more people fitting more and more into their lives of things that they feel they HAVE to do and rushing from one to the next. What would it be like to have a day that encouraged us to slow down, to spend time with friends and family, to take things easy or to spend on our hobbies and interests rather than on day to day chores?

Having read the summary of views posted on the BBC about what Sundays are like now or were like before I wondered if the difference in views was something that related to the age of the respondents. We'll never know but it was a question that came to me while reading. For me a more pertinant question right now would be:

What would your perfect Sunday be like?

For me it would mean being able to sleep in then curling up in the conservatory with a coffee and a good book in my pyjamas. A trip out in the Triumph Herald to a truckers cafe for a good fry up and then back home in time to watch F1 with a beer and homemade pizza. A late afternoon BBQ with friends and family followed by an evening of gentle tv (a sitcom, film or detective program would work well for me). Then off to bed feeling calm, relaxed and sleepy ready to start the week with renewed vigor!

Why not share your ideas for that perfect Sunday?

Starting September

2009-09-03T08:25:00.001+01:00

Note to self:
when allowing yourself to drink coffee because you enjoy it so much - learn to make it well!

September has started!

2009-09-01T17:06:00.002+01:00

Ok so I've been thinking about this one all day (sad but true!) and I've decided that my September goal is going to be one of those 'take the same action every day' ones and that I'm going to carry on with the theme of being healthier.

This month it's time to look again at my liquid intake. There's several things to consider here:
- I love coffee
- I really enjoy a glass of wine or two
- I don't really enjoy drinking water or herbal teas

If you've been following the trials and tribulations of my monthly resolutions you may have realised that I've not had much success with no alcohol on school nights and I'm pretty sure that it's not best revisited for the month that includes a trip to Italy. I think it is safe to say that I'm looking forward to sampling the local vino and bringing some back home with me.

As for coffee ... well giving that up has never really been up for serious consideration. I have modified my habit though and have been gradually reducing the amount that I make in my filter at home but this has had the unfortunate side effect of increasing my consumption of instant.

Since beginning work with Jacinta I have managed to start drinking some water and fruit juices and have been making slight adjustments elsewhere! Great work Jacinta.

So for September I will:
- drink at least 500ml of water a day
- drink spritzers while at home
- keep some fruit juice in the fridge and not leave it there until it goes off!
- enjoy my filter coffee and allow myself up to the 6 cups mark on the jug but NOT drink instant (that is after the mug I've just made!)

Top priority is the water and I'll be aiming to increase that towards 1 litre wherever possible.

Here's looking forward to being better hydrated!

August Success

2009-09-01T14:04:00.003+01:00

Well the month is over and I'm pleased with my progress. I managed to exercise most days in one format or another and am feeling good about it. At times I've even enjoyed it!! So much so that I plan to continue making sure that I get plenty of exercise and fresh air in the months to come.

I can see that becoming more challenging as the nights draw in and the winter weather sets in so I'll make the most of my outdoor opportunities for now so that I'm not too bored with the stepper and the twist and tone when the time for indoor exercise comes.

I've been helped in my efforts by beginning a course of coaching around health and fitness. Working with Jacinta is great and I'm getting some real perspective on my personal views around food. Many people I have spoken to about coaching will tell you that I believe it is not really effective if you try to coach yourself. One of the main benefits of working with a coach is having your views reflected back to you and questioned to create insights into the way you think and feel, about your habits and your desires for the future. This is really working for me and so I'm thinking that my September goal should be related but what.....

Nearly the end of the month

2009-08-26T15:02:00.002+01:00

I've been terribly remiss in keeping you informed of my efforts on the exercise front! I wish I could say that was because I'd been out there emulating Eddie Izzard and running loads of marathons but the truth is (I know you'll be shocked to find) I haven't.

Instead I have been out taking walks, doing a few minutes here and there on the stepper and on the twist and tone and generally making exercise part of my day to day routine.

This has been helped massively by working with my coach, Jacinta, on looking at my overall health as part of her 'Big on the Inside' programme. I'm now changing my attitude to exercise and to food and finding it a great experience.

So for this week I have told Jacinta that I will be spending 5 minutes on the stepper every day before the rest of my day can begin. Today was later as it was after my call to her! I'm really looking forward to setting this new habit and incorporating the change into my life.

I promise to update again before then end of the month!

Oakgrove Leisure Centre

2009-08-26T15:01:00.001+01:00

I'll be taking part in the open day at Oakgrove Leisure Centre this Saturday 29th August. It looks to be a fun filled family day with all activities being provided free of charge.

If you have ever wondered what a life coach does or what they can do for you then come along and see me on the day. I'll have some activities that you can try that will help you to assess where you are at the moment in terms of achieving your goals in life.

It will also be a great chance to sign up for your free Goal Watchers sessions on the 22nd and 29th September.

Do come and say hi I'll be looking forward to seeing you there!

Clare

Out and About

2009-08-21T12:01:00.002+01:00

Well I'm off out and about this month.

Sunday 23rd August I'll be in Fenny Stratford for the Fenny Poppers, 11am to 6pm
Saturday 29th August there's an open day at Oakgrove Leisure Centre 10am to 4pm

Both are going to be great fun, family events and I'm really looking forward to being part of them.

So....if you fancy a fun day out and want to take the opportunity to find out what Life Coaches actually do.....come along and say hi!

Learning from the world of sport

2009-08-18T08:39:00.011+01:00

With the Formula One World Championship over halfway through and the Athletics World Championship underway my thoughts have been turning to what can be learnt from the world of sport.

There are two areas to consider:
What I can learn as a coach?
How we can all benefit by being inspired by those involved in sports?

Tom Fordyce of the BBC has helped my musings with his interesting article Inside the Mind of a Coach. It highlighted for me that fact that all individuals, whatever their goal or their status, decide their own targets and how they will go about achieving them. As Steve Rippon (coach to Kate Dennison, British pole vault record holder) found - a coach can only bring information to the attention of their client and set the facts before them, leaving them with the final choice. After that they will provide support and encouragement.

I noted with interest that though Steve felt that Kate had a better chance if she used a different pole he recognised the fact that she was not looking for advice, not wanting to be told what to do and his role was to accept that and cheer her on in her choice. That resonated for me as my way of working is to always respect the fact that it is my clients that must make their own choices. Our roles are different in that a sports coach is an expert in a particular field and gives advice and training. However at the end of the day either coach is sitting watching from the side lines and it is down to the individual to make their final choices, take the action, take the responsibility and accept the results.

The role of a sports coach is better known and understood than that of a life coach. Despite the differences there are many similarities and this is an area that I will be exploring more in future. Along with that I will be looking at how we can take lessons from our favourite sports men and women and use these to help us along the road to our own goals.

New Products Being Launched

2009-08-12T11:37:00.003+01:00

Why is it that when I think of 'products' it is things like shampoo and conditioners? Enough of that!

Unsurprisingly my new products aren't shampoo or conditioners, instead I am launching a new weekly club for people who want some support in reaching their goals. Goal Watchers will be held on Tuesday nights at Oakgrove Leisure Centre from 8-9pm. The first two weeks, 22nd and 29th September, will be free to anyone registering before the event.

You can find out more on the Goal Watchers website and I will soon be bringing news of additional benefits for club members.

For those who are unable to attend and know what actions they need to take but need some support and encouragement to take those steps there is an email based option - Goal Booster. Each day you email in to say what you intend to do and the next day you will email to let me know what you achieved. This is a great option for those who need someone to hold them accountable for helping them take action.

Goal Journal is a diary which is designed to help clients between coaching sessions or between Goal Watchers meetings. The journal has sections for you to fill in day by day to keep you focussed on your goal, positive and ensure that you are taking notice of all the good things that happen on a daily basis.

If any of these methods of support are of interest please give me a call or send me an email.

Clare

Starting well

2009-08-04T18:38:00.002+01:00

Went on yesterday to go for a short walk and did 5 minutes on the Twist and Tone.

Today I've had another day of less coffee and had a small walk round the block and to the post box. Not quite sure why but I also had a dog go for me! Luckily it was on a short leash and didn't do any harm.

Feeling good and making healthy choices seems easier than normal. Must be the right time to take action!

It's August already

2009-08-03T13:00:00.004+01:00

Wow the year is flying by and I've been having a great time.

I've been pretty remiss in July about keeping in touch my only excuse being that I've been busy on Creating the Impossible. It was a great program and I found out that my impossible goal really was! The learning was great, I've made loads of great contacts and had my best month ever. I'm now creating the impossible again this month and will have a new package ready to launch in September.

In the meantime my resolution for August is going to be keeping a focus on my health this month. Now that I'm no longer training for the Midnight Moo (ok so I've signed up for next year but that's just not close enough to keep me focussed). Therefore in August I am going to make sure that I take at least one action in favour of my health each day. That might be taking exercise, turning down a piece of cake or getting some extra sleep.

I started well today by turning down a very nice looking piece of lemon cake this morning and making a smaller pot of coffee than normal.

At the end of the month I'm expecting to feel better, have more energy and, hopefully, a little bit more space in my clothes.

See you soon!

Need a little extra support?

2009-07-27T13:00:00.000+01:00

For anyone who needs some support in achieving their goals I now offer two methods other than one to one coaching.

GOAL BOOSTER
Do you know what you need to do....and then don't do it?
Do you take action if you have told someone else what you will but not if you are the only one in the know?
Do you need someone to tell?

For just £1 per day you can give your goal a boost, have someone to be accountable to and have a qualified life coach give you feedback and support.

GOAL JOURNAL
Does telling someone else what you plan to do and being held accountable make you do NOTHING?
If so keep your own records of your intentions and actions and be accountable to yourself using a daily journal.

Formatted to record your successes and to keep you focussed on your goals without the need to involve anyone else.

To find out more call Clare on 01908 368607 or email changes@clarewildmancoaching.co.uk

Moooving Success

2009-07-20T14:40:00.003+01:00

Well done to everyone who completed Saturday night's Midnight Moo in Milton Keynes. The weather was kind to us with the rain holding off until we'd all finished and a good time was had by all.

Thanks to all the volunteers who ensured our safety and made sure we got back in one piece. The organisation was very successful and as a participant it was so easy to follow the route.

I've seen that between us we have raised over £100,000 - what a fantastic achievement and I'm sure that more money will roll in. I've already signed up for next year - who will join me?!

Just a few photos from the event (including some VERY unflattering ones of me) are available on the left.

Moooo...ving tonight

2009-07-18T20:30:00.003+01:00

Well I can't believe that it's tonight that I set off in the company of 999 other women at midnight to walk 10 miles round Milton Keynes! It seemed so far away and it's suddenly here. I'm currently pumping some coffee down to keep me awake as I've been on an Ebay workshop today so didn't get the long lie-in and extra sleep that might have been sensible.

I'm looking forward to setting off though and am treating it as though I'm about to run a marathon. Filling up on some carbs later (late meal to keep me going!) Mike is coming along with me as he's one of the volunteers who is helping to ensure the event runs smoothly.

So...good luck to all the girls taking part and I'll try to have some photos ready early next week to give you all a good chuckle!

Why taking time off really is a great idea!

2009-07-13T10:30:00.002+01:00

Having just returned from a long weekend in The Lake District I can really appreciate the benefits of taking a break. For a little while now I've been noticing that when I take some time off I get a breakthrough in my business. It may be a contact from someone out of the blue or it may be an idea that pops into my head, either way it's great and sends me back to work full of energy and enthusiasm!

Another benefit is learning more by meeting great people. Yesterday we had a great 'visiting' day. We started with a trip to a watermill in Little Salkeld. This was a very educational visit as we took the tour and found out about how the mill works and the type of work that is carried out there. The guide was full of information and obviously passionate about creating good quality organic and bio-dynamic flours. By following him on the tour we found out about the way things used to be done and how we can still benefit from this now.

I was fascinated by the way the mill was put to use, the fact that the water is used, not changed and then returned to the stream. How little impact it has on the environment. The way that the power is used to mill the flour and to move the bags and how simple yet complex it all seemed. Being in the mill and listening to the water splashing and the machinery moving with no engine sounds was incredibly relaxing and I could have been tempted to sit there for hours. I'm sure I would have been in Henk's way though.

The visit concluded with a trip to the tea room, a cup of coffee and the most heavenly light lemon cake. Inspired I have some flour now to make my creations in the bread machine both tastier and healthier. If you are interested in history or health take a look at The Watermill.

Next we were off to a great nursery where we bought yet more plants for the garden. This was a little bit of a pesky visit as the rain had started and we kept getting caught out, particularly as the plants just went on and on and on...

The day was completed by a trip to a chocolate making factory. Talk about 7th Heaven!

So now I'm back, inspired by other people, nature, fantastic views and ready to go!
What a brilliant way to start the week.

Emergency Cards

2009-07-08T15:16:00.002+01:00

I have been very remiss in updating my blog on this subject. A little while ago I was lucky enough to meet Karen Parker and found out about the emergency cards that she has created. Her tale is as follows:

"Back in January my father had a heart attack. He was just a few minutes from home but the police took 2 hrs to find my mum and by then it was too late.

As dad wasn’t carrying any ID the police had no option but to begin house-to-house enquiries.

If dad had carried ID in his wallet, my mum could have been there within minutes."

As a result Karen is now encouraging everyone to carry a card giving ID, contact and medication details. These can be used in conjunction with a charity or buiness or purchased by individuals one at a time for only £1.50 (such a small amount for such peace of mind!)

Don't delay - get one today! See the link on the left.

World Record Update

2009-06-29T18:52:00.002+01:00

Well done to everyone who came out in the heat to take part in the 3-legged World Record attempt. 122 pairs took part but unfortunately we were 68 pairs short of the record. Charlie and Steve set off at a great pace and after 12 hours had completed 2/3rd of the record distance. Unfortunately they had to stop as both were suffering (they were on crutches after) and we're now waiting to see if they qualify for the greatest distance in 12 hours.